For me experiencing ecstasy, finding joy, even bliss in the meaningless universe is easy. Just standing by as a spectator, watching the universe unfold daily is blissful. It’s like winning the MVP award for just watching the Leafs win the Stanley cup. I have nothing to do with it but I feel it’s mine! I am be-soaked in all of it — observing, feeling, being in, the unfolding expanding universe is a wonder to behold no matter whether watching an inchworm mark off a yard, or a comet streak across the sky. Joseph Campbell chimes in:

"Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” (Joseph Campbell)

In at least one profound sense, we have a biological meaning. We humans emerged in an evolutionary chain from apes to early man by a process, genetically coded in all living things – procreation. The meaning of life lies in the cradle of a family. Making love, birthing a child, is sacred almost in its profundity. Like ants or elephants I was born to fall in love, to procreate, to father children with a life partner in order for our children to have better lives than ours – to contribute to the evolutionary tree. Our existence is proof positive that we are part of the unbroken bond of raising children, better than us. It is just how nature has always worked. It’s how the human race got here.

I was often mocked by my childless daughter when I proclaimed regularly, "The only reason we were brought onto this earth was to procreate. It is the most beautiful, most meaningful and rewarding thing you will ever do with your life."

It is humankind’s ultimate achievement – nurturing a child through a home rich in language and experience, urging and supporting a child to venture outward and anew at every opportunity but attached to a supportive tether that never needs tightening.

We did it! It was the best thing we ever did.

That’s more than enough. But is there more? In "Man’s Search for Meaning", the psychiatrist and neurologist Viktor Frankl (d. 1997) who was a Holocaust survivor wrote that our main motivation in life is neither pleasure, nor power, but meaning.

In his book, he articulates many ways in which seeking happiness differs from seeking meaning. One of which states:

"Happiness was related more to being a taker rather than a giver, whereas meaning was related more to being a giver than a taker."

Yes, that’s one good way of finding meaning in life, "Giving something back to the world through creativity and self-expression."

There are a million ways to give back. I intuited that when I dropped out of law school, on day one, in order to be a teacher. "I want to give something back" was not something I said to friends or family or even articulated to myself. It wasn’t for the money or long holidays. It was something deeper. Decades later and upon reflection I can see that thread in my motivation throughout my career. It was my way of giving back. Teaching children is giving back. Biologically again it is furthering the human species. But you don’t think that way while you do it, you just do it.

Two seminal experiences in my early life had a profound effect on the focus of my teaching practice. As a student for my five high school years at Upper Canada College, I was assimilated into Anglo-Saxon culture. I became ashamed of, and had to hide my Ukrainian immigrant family culture. It was systemic. I was ‘othered’ at the school, and felt one down, even still today. Secondly, after university graduation I spent five months as an apprentice on the gold mines outside Johannesburg at the height of the Apartheid era with my classmate Clay Powell. Witnessing the oppression of blacks in a state-mandated racist system, including having my own Zulu ‘boy’ who woke me with tea every morning and washed and pressed my cloths and polished my shoes daily, left an indelible mark on my view of racism in Canada and in the schools where I worked. I became passionate about social justice and equity issues in schools. I completed a doctorate including a thesis on racism in schools and co-developed with Patrick Solomon, a course in the faculty of education by that name. I taught that course at York university for over 20 years into my 70’s, until cancer closed me down. I loved every day of teaching that course, "Social Justice and Equity Issues in Schools and Communities." I learned as much from my students as I shared.

At no time in history have teachers had the effect of their personal meaning been mirrored back to them by the internet. Students are able, through various social media and school pages to reflect back on what teachers meant to them. I have been surprised and inspired by reflections of my impact on the lives of my students. One example, recently Evan wrote :
"The moth is always drawn to the light. I believe that ‘moths’ such as me & others, are drawn to your light which shines through your intelligence, your wit, your spirit of adventure & risk-taking & eclectic, unpredictable nature. Your light will fade & ultimately extinguish as will mine but I cannot accept that whatever was good in that light will be lost. Our lives, however insignificant when compared to the cosmos, do have significance. Some for a short time others longer. I know that you will not go gently into the night."

Ann and I at home did our evolutionary job. By the laws of the theory of evolution we procreated and raised a family of children better than us. -Undeniably our crowning life achievement. I’m touched that I am remembered by many students, but I am empowered to know that my passion for social justice has legs. As Laura Hassel wrote, "… and I have taught over 1000 students, worked with over 500 teachers... impressing upon them lessons learned from you about social justice and racism! Imagine if even half of your former students are doing the same?!"
Now that is a legacy worth owning. Not that I created those notions of justice. I was a mere messenger; my students are doing the rest.

Anaïs Nin’s comment resonates with me : "There is not one big cosmic meaning for all; there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.” (The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934)

This is my individual meaning of life; this is my personal book.

Jump to this post