Thank you for your response. I never joined one of these support groups so I really didnt know what to expect. I hate that you have had to go through this three times. WOW. And I realize you are right about the PTSD. But last night I remembered that my home health nurse told me to continue taking Gabapentin for the nerves issues. I had stopped taking almost everything just because it just seemed like too much for my body to deal with. (Hate taking pills). But my nerves became so raw I couldn't even use body scrub. So I went back on the Gabapentin last night and finally got some sleep and didn't wake up dreading the day. It did calm my nerves and not telling anyone to take anything but check with yourd dr. I should have stayed on it. Hope you have luck healing. I had the L4-S1 fusion.