Helping husband understand there is no natural cure

@sradeb, picking up on the advice of @proftom2, I also think you could engage the help of a medical professional who practices integrative oncology.

They can discuss options as well as help define a shared understanding of goals of treatment, cure, and natural.

More and more cancer centers and oncology specialists are open to discussing and integrating complementary medicine in programs called Integrative Medicine or Integrative Oncology. Integrative medicince is offered at many cancer centers of excellence, including Mayo Clinic.

Here's a link to more information about Mayo Clinic's Integrative Medicine programs
– Integrative Medicine and Health https://www.mayoclinic.org/departments-centers/integrative-medicine-health/sections/overview/ovc-20464567

In this Mayo Clinic Q & A Podcast. Dr. D'Andre talks about how integrative oncology can be incorporated into conventional cancer care at Mayo Clinic.

Since the advice of @proftom2, I've been looking into both integrative oncology and naturopathic oncology. Unfortunately to the husband Integrative just seems like ways of dealing with the symptoms of normal (i.e. radiation, surgery and chemo) treatments so he's not interested in hearing that word. But I do have him interested in naturopathic so while he tries the Mediterranean diet it at least gives me something to research so I don't feel so helpless.

Thank you for asking. Slow and hard. We're trying the Mediterranean diet, since it's highly recommended but that's more for prevention than cure I know. At least it might slow things down hopefully while I research other options. One directions I'm going is Naturopathic Oncology. He's agreed that sounds interesting rather than Integrative Oncology. So we'll see where that goes. I do have to say that this support group has been a huge help to me in this process even though he's not interested and again on Saturday said this is all up to me and any time lost in me not finding what he wants is on me, not him. Long sigh.

That it is a huge and unfair burden for you to bear alone, @sradeb. I'm glad that this forum can provide feedback and some support. I hope that you are seeing or will consider speaking wth someone who will support you, like a social worker, counsellor, chaplain, etc. These services are often available for caregivers at cancer centers. Do you have access to caregiver supports or to speak with someone about your caregiver experience?

Thank you so much for your concern. It's greatly appreciated, as is this group. But yes, I have a wonderful support network and plenty of people to vent to. I also work for a Healthcare system that provides free counseling for us.

sradeb: I don't know if your husband is personally speaking to patients with direct experience but if you think a conversation on the phone might help, please private message me.

Thank you so much for the offer, it's very appreciated. But right now I can't get him to even talk to his doctors. We joke that his hobby is teaching mules to be stubborn so when he says "no talking, this is what I'm doing." there is no moving the mountain of silliness.

Sradeb: as a Taurus, I can understand stubbornness. You might want to convey one last story as a reason for a phone call.

My brother, who is 73, waited too long before he went after his prostate cancer. It had spread outside of the prostate so in addition to getting great radiation treatment in New York city’s Cornell Weill, he had to be put on Lupron to reduce the protein going to his prostate. His side effects were horrible. He could barely walk (neuropathy). He was in pain. He was fatigued constantly. He couldn’t do his normal activities (ED), all because he waited too long. Everyone seems to react differently to these medication’s some with minor side effects, but most have some level of side effects. Mine were more than tolerable . In the case of my brother, it ended up spreading to his pancreas, which has now been 60% removed, and they also had to remove his spleen all over the last few weeks .

You might ask your husband if potentially avoiding all of that is worth perhaps getting a little insight for 30 minutes of his time.

In the end of it all, of course, it is his choice, but I hate to see somebody suffer because they are afraid of the side effects without perhaps fully understanding the choices that are out there. Doctors are dedicated, but not infallible so all the information is not always there or given to a patient.

If he changes his mind about the call, please let me know.

Before I start (sorry for the length of this post) I want to say that you are a real trooper and your husband has a jewel of a supportive wife.

My comments from here on are directed to him…

Your wife’s posts seem to indicate your level of fear, anger and denial are at the top of the pile. We understand…

I’d venture a guess that virtually all men, deal (at some level) with this debilitating emotional triumvirate, after we are initially diagnosed with PCa; especially if we have no accompanying symptoms.

Ultimately, the question reduces to either sinking into self-pity and resignation or deciding to take action (hopefully massive).

Your wife asked whether there is a “natural cure” for PCa. That’s something of a loaded question, but I can absolutely assert that NO CURE (natural or otherwise) is possible without a first step:

“TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR OWN HEALTH”

As much as your wife may want to help you, your the one who needs to take ownership of your diagnosis and take action.

I am an advocate for Active Surveillance (AS) for those who have the qualifying clinical and genomic indicators (see my profile); but I also recognize the benefit of traditional treatments by competent, experienced medical professionals when those indicators demonstrate AS is no longer a reasonable choice…based on the data.

As a first step of “health ownership” why not write and post your clinical and genomic indicators to this blog. If you can’t even do this first step, it’s clear you are not yet ready to consider “cures” (natural or otherwise). You must first decide whether you want to live…or not.

“Stage 3 PCa” is not very descriptive and the details seriously matter; when it comes to determining the best treatment options (natural or not).

BTW: My “natural AS program” involves a great deal of ongoing action on my part…my wife assists, but she cannot implement.

I have read books about folks who have taken “massive natural action” in an attempt to cure their cancer…some successfully.

As much “natural action” as I have taken (running three 5k’s per week (9min/mi) and dropping my BMI from 27 to 22 in three months), I can’t commit to the level of action some of these folks have implemented.

Quality of Life matters, even for those willing to take massive “natural action”.

There is no “natural cure”; otherwise men would not be spending $10 billion a year on their treatments.

But the statistical outcomes of those who take action (natural or otherwise) is significantly better than those who decide on self pity and resignation.

PCa is formidable, but nowhere near overwhelming and every man who posts on this blog is more than willing to share in your struggles.

All the best and I look forward to seeing you show up in “battle best”.

Alan

I’d encourage your husband to continue with the Mediterranean Diet. I’ve been on it for two years. I decided to go on it after learning there was cancer in one of eight lymph node samples, which were tested after my surgery. I was hoping to avoid radiation and hormone shots to prevent my cancer from spreading . The good is — I have. My PSA tests showed my cancer is undetectable. I wish your husband success in eliminating and/or controlling it. A Mediterranean Diet is a great way to go!