When the overload comes with what is happening to you and your LO, embrace those tears. A cry may not change a thing, but with an exhausting purge, there might be a bit of lightness to the spirit and maybe a good nap.
We have been dealing with what must be one of the most prolonged, slowest declines for almost ten years now. Although at 86 and 94, we still go out together occasionally for groceries and lunch or breakfast, these events are now more of a hunt to track the permanency of losses or a tiny transient win than a social happening. Getting used to ever-changing goalposts has ensured I will never understand this game without rules, no matter how hard I try.--Still, as this plays out for us in slow motion, it has allowed me to use observation of my sweet Hubbie as a tool. I have found that looking at behavior as if I were watching a film allows me to be less emotional when trying to get inside the confusion my boy tries to handle. Shepherding him back to a safe space where he is not confused or threatened reminds me that we are still a loving team, even without hugs and kisses. -- And above all, do not forget you are the one in the relationship that has been graced with cognitive abilities. Being another person's rock is impossible if you do not care for yourself. Take free moments for something creative, something silly. Plan ahead and have materials at the ready. Don't waste those precious few minutes looking for the pen, the paints, your sewing needles, that puzzle. Watch something that makes you laugh. I live in Michigan where sunshine is fickle. After a scarcity, we are on our third glorious day. I'm heading out for five minutes for a bit of healing and plan to take you with me. GloRo