Alex @alexgoldman2, I can certainly relate to that. It is difficult on us no matter the disease causing the alternate lifestyle. I look at it that we are lucky to still be living. So I accept the new way of life and I try to make the best of it by learning to improve on my deficits. It has been 4 years for me but I am slowly making progress. I don’t give up on building on my physical skills. I don’t expect my physical condition to be what it was before my AVM but I do expect to get better the more effort I put into it. As Laurie @artist01 had said, it is what it is. So let’s make this new way of life better and concentrate on the things we can do. Originally I was not able to walk but I was determined to take steps again. Since I could not drive I had physical therapy come to me through home health care. I was put on an exercise program to complete exercises while on the couch. I have muscle weakness and cannot tolerate much activity without taking breaks often. About 6 months later I had physical therapy(a different therapist) again through home health care. This time the physical therapist used a gait belt on me to prevent me falling as I learned to walk. My exercises were to walk forward from the front door to the back door of the house and then walk backwards across the living room. At the end of my session in front of my couch, I tried to balance while standing on one leg then switched to the other leg. Within a few weeks I became strong enough to use a walker to get around instead of my wheelchair. A year later my kids were able to drive me to physical therapy outpatient services. It was there I had learned to upgrade to a quad cane. I no longer used a walker to get around. In fact I did not need a device for inside my home. I only used a quad cane for outdoors on unleveled surfaces such as the lawn and graveled driveway. It is not easy but our will power can drive us to reach our goals. Because of Covid-19, last year I did not participate in any physical therapy outpatient services. In January of this year I began exercising 10 minute intervals and hope to keep increasing with the number of intervals as I go along. I need to intensify my workouts so I purchased a manual treadmill. This will also allow me to take longer walks as I become stronger. I can feel improvement because walking outside with my cane has gotten easier. I believe going slow can be more successful for reaching our goals because too much too soon will cause us to quit.
Alex, have you talked with your doctor regarding your depression? If exercising does not offer help perhaps you may need professional intervention by speaking with your doctor. Let me add, I take no medications at this time but I do take a few supplements like fish oil which my neurologist had recommended at the time of my AVM. Best wishes to you for a better recovery. Toni