I’m experiencing the same situation with my parents at the moment! A google search brought me to your post. I noticed it is a year old. @buggirl55 may I ask what your solution was?

My Dad is 83 and very OCD and schedule driven so nothing can interrupt that routine in his mind- he completely ignores the medical staff that comes in and if someone is here he leaves. He is the sole caregiver at night, but I’m only 10 min away if help is needed. I’m concerned he doesn’t understand the magnitude of care she needs. She has Parkinson’s dementia so she is at the point of needing 24/7 care. I don’t think he can provide the care she needs and like you I work a demanding full-time job. We do have morning care givers plus hospice- but I’m the fill-in when someone doesn’t show up and also cover afternoon shifts and evenings. I’m also the person who communicates with the care team because my Dad says call my daughter. I’m fortunate to telework if needed or leave early for afternoon shifts but currently can’t manage that as my Dad sees me and leaves or does his chores which leaves me exhausted and trying to cram work in when I get home. Something has to change!