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Anger and Counseling

Posted by miked77 @miked77, Mar 23 9:26am

I was 77 when diagnosed with prostate cancer so totally surprised with rising PSA, then MRI, then biopsy, then diagnosis of aggressive prostate cancer (luckily no mets). I was devastated and Angry. My wife of 51 years was very supportive but this did not help my anger. “Why Me, Why Now???” After 9 months of anger, I finally agreed to see a Counselor. I gripped , I bitched, I complained. Amazingly, after 3-4 sessions, I felt less angry. I now go monthly to this wonderful person and we discuss all kinds of things (sports, wives, life and even talk about anger (but not often).
I am sharing this as I am sure some older diagnosed prostate cancer patients may benefit from my experience. Life is too short to be angry all the time.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Prostate Cancer Support Group.

cstrutt52 | @cstrutt52 | Apr 2 10:39am

They told me I needed a biopsy at 63. I put it off until the PSA started jumping and finally had a biopsy at 69 and two sessions of HDR brachy at 70. Never felt angry. Hardly felt anxious. Like everyone else, hitting 100 would be nice (though my doctor father tells me that even the 100-year-old at the very end wants more time) but I feel that I've had my turn. It was a great life. But never anger. I think it is a totally personality driven response. Glad to you could find a way to reduce it. On the other hand, I didn't hit the $1 billion Powerball. Now that pisses me off . .

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proftom2 | @proftom2 | Apr 2 11:27am

I recall those angers and disbeliefs days well. While searching for help I stumbled upon an exercise phycologist. She converted my anger and disbeliefs into a wellness program. Within a matter of weeks she taught me gratitude and self-compassion techniques, created a quality life mindset for me, that have led me to better version of myself land.

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batsam10 | @batsam10 | Apr 2 5:20pm
In reply to @ranger44 "I am 70 years old, diagnosed 2/2/24 with 4+3=7 PCa I would love to have not..." + (show)
@ranger44

I am 70 years old, diagnosed 2/2/24 with 4+3=7 PCa I would love to have not been diagnosed until age 77, and I would be dancing in the streets with a 3+3=6 which is really not even cancer, and you can do AS for many years.
It's all about attitude, and the better life you have had, the harder it is to accept, but accept we must. I am personally opting for Watchful Waiting, rather than life changing treatment. I would like to have 5 more Good Years and if I make 80 that would be a bonus. Philosophy is the balm that soothes the wounds of life, and protects us from life's sharp vicissitudes. I find comfort in the philosophy of the Stoics, Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, and the principles of Buddhism, the law of the impermanence of all things, the certainty of death, the ephemeral and transitory nature of life, and extreme gratitude for all the days we've had, and to live totally in the present moment with no fears or anxiety about the future. Many good You Tube videos on the Stoics and the principles of Buddhism, just search and you will find. Anger is one of the things that causes us suffering, along with attachment, ignorance and aversion. One thing we all have in common on this support group, is we are all older, for the most part 60's and 70's so we have all had a long life. My brother died from testicular cancer at 32 leaving behind a 10 year old son. So we all have to be grateful for each day, and live each moment to the fullest. Having PCa is a wake up call for me to live the few years I have left with a vengeance. Peace of mind to all, and Gratitude is the Mother of all Virtues.

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Finding comfort is extremely important when faced with this disease. I agree with your comment about anger. I believe it’s incredibly controlling and crippling. Even with good therapy and a positive outlook like yours, it’s like a rollercoaster. Highs and lows for sure. Wishing you the best.

Take care

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