Thank you for your thoughtful reply Miriam. I'm sorry to hear that you also live with chronic pain. Yes, my pain is undertreated. I lost my wonderful spine specialist in LA who managed my pain very well. I then saw 2 pain mgmt docs: one wanted to admit me to the hospital and wean me down because my dose was well over 90 MME's. The other one only did injections, not med management. I had no time left before running out of my pain meds and then withdrawal and even worse pain so I lied, said I was an addict, and was placed on suboxone. It doesn't help much. I do need to find a reasonable pain doctor but they're all so afraid to prescribe in this state because of the "opioid crisis". My breast surgeon wants my pain to be better managed and referred me to the doc that wanted to wean me down if you can believe that. I'm in the process of trying to be accepted into his practice. I like your idea about a physical rehab doc! I've had it with pain mgmt! I'm going to check that out. Better mgmt will enable me to come off of my hormones as well as handle the radiation. The surgery was the easy part. Only needed 2 doses of pain meds post op. I understand about feeling hopeless my friend and to me the worst part is the disability the pain causes.. the inability to do things that might bring me joy. Now with cancer on top of it I think I'm in denial as I've remained in good spirits.. strong faith and Cymbalta help lol. You don't sound like a pessimist at all and I applaud you for finding ways to live with pain for 50 years. I'll be thinking of you and thank you again!