I think your comments are the true feelings we all have. Most of us - myself included - post what we hope are inspirational messages to our fellow sufferers, and we often make light of how we really feel.
But you say it like it is: our lives - as we knew them - have been ruined. ED, incontinence, constant anxiety, feminization of our sex organs and all the rest is a big , BIG change from what we’ve known and how we view ourselves.
When I bitch to my wife about these things she says , “Yes, but you’re alive!” Which is true but is it “living” the way I want to? I don’t want to look in the mirror and see someone else, feel like someone else. I want to be the old ME!
But what keeps me grounded and stops me from throwing myself a pity party is seeing all my friends who have it much worse; debilitating strokes not allowing them to swallow or eat, others stricken with ALS, heart attacks that killed others at a very young age, and friends who have lost THEIR 30 yr old children to cancer….and I should complain??
In short, life CAN suck!! And we all know the endgame can’t be much better but you gotta keep going, laugh at whatever you can and ****k the rest!!!