So happy to hear that you also have a supportive partner 🙂 It can make all the difference.
I'm afraid that 'escaping things' is something that does happen from time to time. I thought I had left all that behind (😂) when my son grew out of diapers, but sadly, it's back! Being free from pain is HUGE in terms of being able to relax, and that comes with time. There's nothing for the other stuff but a good sense of humour and wet wipes beside the bed........ Control does improve with time, but it's so individual. As my partner once quipped, "if you want to play in the sandbox, you've got to be prepared to get dirty!" And so it goes. The power of mind over matter is incredible 👍