Thanks, Terri @terrihodges , for sharing your experience with us and for the useful information on meds (which of course we should always consult with our HCP).
It's been 6 weeks since I left the hospital and almost 7 since I had my coloanal anastomosis and almost 8 since my Turnbull-Cutait pullthrough and vaginal flap. I yearn to have sexual relations, but my anus still hurts and I think there is still some inflamation in my vagina, so the most I've been able to do is to masturbate my husband, cuddle and have my husband masturbate me (but not inside) with little satisfaction last week-end. Part of the reason for the little satisfaction was that I could not keep out of my mind the fear of gases or even feces escaping while being intimate.

Luckily for me, my husband too is quite understanding. He too took up an unsavory task. While at the hospital, in order not to be calling the nurse all the time, he would sometimes clean me up and change the bed protector, and he kept doing it at home when I was not able to clean myself up quite properly, even with the bidet, because of bulge on my anus. He never complained; when I apologized, he shushed me. But, as in the case of your husband, Terri, it helped him understand what I was going through, have an inkling of what I was feeling, be super supportive and empathetic.

He is very patient with retaking our intimate life at the pace I feel comfortable with.