Yes, that is it, isn’t it? The unknown. Will I ever get well enough to live a normal life again?

People who really don’t understand always tell me to be “positive”. I have always been a positive sort of person, but continued worsening symptoms and an unknown future, makes it very hard to “put on a happy face”.

I do that as much as I can, mostly for my grandchildren. Invariably, after such a display I hear “Oh, I’m glad you are so much better!”
No, just faking it as much as I can for the comfort of others.