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Thanks all. Everyone has a slightly tweaked version of the same thing but hopefully the longterm outcome is all good. I just started this journey with my husband and am asking what on my part (wife ) is most helpful ? I am trying now to fatten him up for chemo/radiation. Its not my style to hover but want to be helpful and supportive. Any advice is helpful from those of you who have gone through it.

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Replies to "Thanks all. Everyone has a slightly tweaked version of the same thing but hopefully the longterm..."

This was hard on my husband and a shock as he was healthy and never sick. To have to have chemo, radiation and take medicine was very hard for him, so I’m the one to do everything else. I made appointments, talked to nurses, looked up things to see what works and not, etc. He slept a lot and not feeling the best so I did everything. I had to fix things he could eat, sometimes he couldn’t eat anything, it was hard seeing him like this. Now he’s all done and trying to recover. Good luck.

I had SCC on the base of my tongue and a couple of lymph nodes in the fall of 2020. I had chemo and proton radiation, since have had multiple cleans scans.

I wrote a blog during my experience (non-revenue generating) if you would like to review it. You can read it at:


More importantly, my wife wrote a wonderfully insightful post of lists and non-advice advice.


Take notes. Be there. Don't get discouraged. Know that foods will taste different and may taste awful or cannot be tolerated as time goes by. A feeding tube may be necessary. Keep him hydrated and exercised. He may or may not want visitors, honor that. Know that he is more scared than you but probably won't admit it.
My wife would probably have a lot more to add to this list. Know this however, you have people here that can help or answer questions as they come up. This won't go on forever. All things have an end and a bratwurst has two! Courage.