@jelizabeth I totally feel for you and I absolutely know what you're going through. Everything you mentioned has happened to me including the pain doctor fudging the drug test, doctors not listening to your needs and ignoring the problem, living only for your family while wishing it would all be over, etc.

I also had the fentanyl patches. I had them for a total of 15 years. My doctor did a urine test and then called me the next day and told me that the fentanyl didn't show up on the test so I must either be selling them or giving them away. Why would I pay almost $300 per month for them and then give them away? I'm no drug dealer either I also never misused any of my medications and he knew it. I called the lab that processed it and they told me that the doctor would have had to ask for a special test to detect the fentanyl. He did a simple 12 panel test. I never got to talk to the doctor again but I did talk to his nurse and I could tell that she knew what he did & she felt bad. I think he did it because they drained me of all the money I had and was no longer doing injections/procedures. I was just coming in to get my medications refilled. Acually, I think the big opioid scare played a part as well because this happened with me on August 17th, 2015 and I believe the warning about the opioids came out on August 15th. Pretty sad that they just screw people over like that and get a way with it. From that point on I carried a copy of my test results and gave it to each doctor I've seen since then to prove my case.

As far as the pain goes, trust me, I understand. I lay here every day wishing it would hurry up and kill me already. I don't want to die, I really would rather get better and live whatever life I have with my family. It gets so hard to be positive when you're in so much pain. All I can tell you is you're not alone and hang in there!!! Take care!