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What a heartbreaking problem to face. I have found peace by remembering the times was not a "perfect parent" and forgiving myself - I did the best I could. During therapy, I also apologized to my daughter for not recognizing her side. Eventually (without pressure ) they seem to migrate back.

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Replies to "What a heartbreaking problem to face. I have found peace by remembering the times was not..."

Thank you. Our children seem to think there is some book that we had and did not purposely follow. Many of us either repeated our parents or were raising them by the seat of our pants while we too were trying to mature. My daughter and I are estrangled. She disowned me many years ago in her teenage years. Yet, due to my driving her back and forth from the South to the North when she was younger, she learned the boundaries of NYC did not have to restrict her and as a result, she has gone farther than I could imagine. She has traveled to the Caribbean, Paris, and now lives in Nevada having been a traveling nurse and not afraid to go where they send her. She became a traveling nurse and now a baby nurse, RN which the background she selected to return to would not have had her striving to become someone of that profession. Ultimately, we are in my opinion tasked with the responsibility of raising our children to be independent, viable citizens of society. We hope they won't go out into the world and without having taught them how to learn from their decisions boomerang back to us for us to support them as adults. Although far from a perfect parent, the excuses that won't be shared here are very much part of why she is independent, a viable citizen, and contributing to society. Everything else and whether she eventually forgives me for what I did not know then. What was beyond my control or knowledge is up to her. At her age of 42 and I approaching 65 shortly, I feel at times, even when her decisions and life choices sadden me, I have done my job back then the best I knew how so the burden of guilt is not one I wrestle with daily.