Are you a part of any of the support groups thru Facebook?
I know and understand what you are dealing with as I too have been dealing with this for just a little over a year. The feeling of despair tends to rule my day more than anything other than the pain. I understand and hope you look into the groups, I'm not much help right now because I don't know how I keep going to bed and waking up, but there's a ton of support. Arachnoiditis and Arachnoiditis Everyday are in the search on Facebook. I have been told there is no fixing, just learning to manage.