I am now 72 years of age and over the years have witnessed many couples and their families go through the very same thing, including our own families and now we may be in that boat because my husband absolutely refused to take out long term care insurance when it would have been more affordable because he is not going anywhere is going to die in his own home, etc. It truly frightens me. Help is available for many things, but again, he refuses help. He will allow me to get help such as post-surgery type of thing, but being independent is his huge issue. And I have witnessed many men with the same attitude, ripping up their families with their stubbornness. So I have total sympathy for your situation and completely understand. I understood it before we were faced with it ourselves. Thankfully, my husband is sensible in many ways and has finally agreed to single and marriage counseling to address these issues and some other things and I say God Bless him for that decision. Many couples who have been married 54 years would never ever consider counseling. I don't know if your man would agree to go in that direction or if that discussion would make it worse. Our son is deceased and we have a daughter who is stepping up with helpful suggestions, but his attitude and stubbornness is what we need to work through. He is in total denial of what could/might likely happen to us if he refuses to make good decisions. Oftentimes a third party that is unrelated, such as a counselor is able to help him and me work through our issues and make decisions that is in our best interest. It's difficult to be sure and I hope the best for all of us going through these problems.