Hello @kendrick55 and welcome to Mayo Connect. I read your post and also read some of the many helpful comments from @marjou @nemo1 and @frances007. We can all understand to some degree what you are experiencing, especially if you are financially or emotionally dependent on this individual. If that is the case, it makes your situation even more difficult.

As the others have mentioned, you will need support in order to feel better. If you can reach out to a counselor either through your church or other community sources that would be good. Also, as mentioned previously, medication might help you feel stronger.

If you are already doing that, you might consider adding a support group to your personal care team. NAMI is an organization that can help with this. They offer support groups for people who suffer from anxiety and depression as well as for their care partners (if they are willing to get support). I would encourage you to find a group where you can talk about these issues.

Here is the website for NAMI where you can find a support group nearby, https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups.

Will you post again and let me know how you are doing?