Hi @harleyshaw, after reading your post, I watched a video of Teepa Snow on how to talk to a loved one with dementia about not driving anymore. She said when something is taken away, something should be substituted in its place.
You said your wife is relentless in her efforts to take the car. What does she want it for? Are there errands she wants to run, friends she wants to visit, does she want to go to church or cruise?
Are there transportation services in your community liked a shared ride service she could use? Any friends who will take her shopping or other places? Would she be willing to go to a day program if one is available?
I was determined for my husband to keep driving as long as it was safe, but I watched him like a hawk. One day he didn't see a STOP sign. Luckily, the car on the other side of the sign yielded.
The next day we had a Zoom visit with his neurologist. He asked him to draw a clock, then 10 after 11 on the clock. He couldn't do it. The neurologist recommnded it was time for him to stop driving.
I explained this to my husband and I think he was relieved. Driving was probably a bigger stressor for him than I realized.
Every once and a while he mentions that "they won't let me drive anymore." I explain that he couldn't draw 10 past 11 on the clock, that's when people aren't supposed to drive anymore, and if he got into an accident, we could lose everything.
He accepts it and always compliments me when I drive.
Good luck. I know I had a pretty easy time with this development.