@dfb Sorry I hadn’t read your whole story and I empathize with you. My struggles with anxiety and depression have caused great physical and medical pain and suffering that I feel there’s no end in sight. Beginning with the estrangement of my younger son almost 5 years ago for no explanation when he just cut the whole family out and moved away. Totally devastated me. Dealing with feelings about my self esteem and negativity from past experiences that I constantly struggle with made worse with aging (I’m 62)and new illnesses caused by anxiety and that I’ve already had MS, migraines, IBS, hair loss. Working on getting through all of this but it’s a slow painful process that requires therapy, medication, exercise, sleep, diet, positive thinking, support. While in a mental health facility, a therapist told me there was no such thing as good genes and bad genes. I think she’s full of it. I too believe we’re a product of biology and environment. Everyone has something to deal with and nobody is perfect. But damn, some of us were dealt a harder blow than others. Comparison is the thief of joy. This drives my anxiety.
So far I have found no relief. Trying to count my blessings but I can’t even enjoy them because of my illnesses.
I hope you find some joy but know you’re not alone in your feelings and struggles.