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How much do you share with acquaintances or teachers?
Breast Cancer | Last Active: Mar 6 5:13pm | Replies (20)Comment receiving replies
After 20 years and a lot of history, I just don’t tell anyone unless they ask. Then I tell them the truth. My IQ dropped 10 points and I struggle sometimes with my own brain being snail slow.
I love this discussion! When I just finished the first and worst round of treatments, still bald and skinny, a person I thought was a really good friend gave me a present for my last day of radiation (also my birthday). It was a book by someone who had never had cancer about how to be over it and leave it in the past and move on for the sake of your friends and family. It was an old used paperback she had found on some website. She claimed to have read it first, but if she did she should have predicted it would basically end our friendship of 10 years. It was incredibly insulting from someone who had never had a major illness. This was a huge lesson for me.
I now surround myself with better people, and Mayo connect. I would rather have coffee with you girls every day.❤️
Does Mayo connect make a difference for any of you by giving you someone to discuss your issues and gifts from cancer and the treatments?
Replies to "After 20 years and a lot of history, I just don’t tell anyone unless they ask...."
When I was first diagnosed, I didn’t want to tell anybody because, I’m being really honest here, because I didn’t want to hear anyone say something stupid. Only one person did. When I finally told a few people, one person said my 9mm tumor was big and that her daughter does nipple tattooing. Did I say that I was going to be losing my nipples? Honestly! It’s just so annoying the things that people say when they don’t understand. My breast cancer is not a business opportunity.
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Hi Chris,
my dad used to say that around illness and death people tended to divide into those who felt fear and those who felt sympathy. Then he'd add "stick with those
who feel sympathy." It was good advice all around. Those who feel fear can often descend into a state of panic where they can be very hurtful. So I'm following my dad's advice and yes, Mayo connect leads with sympathy, not fear. Thanks for the question.