Connect
← Return to Who knows a lot about PSA test results?
Discussion
Who knows a lot about PSA test results?
Prostate Cancer | Last Active: Mar 12 7:58am | Replies (27)Comment receiving replies
On the relational side, (after all I am an MFT etc), I would encourage you to let him be in charge of his cancer, but respectfully and consistently be available to be alongside him, however he prefers. Obviously one of the things that may be happening is the triggering of memories of his previous traumatic journey alongside his wife.
Your own journey in coming to terms with this will likely start with your own history to this point, which may be quite different from his.
Also, please write everything here (on this public forum) in a way that if or when he reads it he will feel respected and not betrayed. It's his story to tell, even though you are part of the story. This might include not using names or identifying facts without his explicit permission, or even copying him on everything you post. (The fact that he is not ready to tell his adult children what he's dealing with is a flag that he might have concerns about who hears what when and how.)
After all, your first challenge is being a trustworthy companion in this unwanted journey, whatever it includes. All the best, and thank you for being alongside this brother in our unwanted fraternity.
Replies to "On the relational side, (after all I am an MFT etc), I would encourage you to..."
btw..i removed my photo to further protect his privacy..the name I use is not my legal name either..
Connect
wow..thank you so much for this VERY VALUABLE thoughtful advise..the last thing I want to do is cause him extra stress....I have to remember that I am a person who easily puts my unfortunate personal business out front..it's my way of accepting, dealing, owning my issues..but I realize not everyone is like that at all..
i have one friend who announced it to the world her ovarian cancer and my other closest friend made me and one other lady promise to NEVER tell anyone she had cancer...and it has been 3 years to date she kept it secret..
my bf did thank me for encouraging him to tell his adult kids, who are very loving and he said were very grateful..they have agreed supported that if he does need treatment and is weak, etc., he can move in to my home because I work from home, am an empty nester. I can't work from his home due to my contract with my employer..this way I can help him get to doc visits, eat right etc..we have only been dating about 9 months...so my adult kids think it is a lot to take on, but I am ready to help him if he needs it..his kids are sweet, supportive and can visit 24/7..when he is able to drive he can go to his home and visit with his family
i am talking like he actually has cancer but there is a decent chance he does not have cancer..
he had his MRI on friday, and he wants to schedule his biopsy before hearing his MRI results..so he said he will try tomorrow..
last night when we hung out i did ask him about privacy and how he wanted or did not want to respond or give information to people IF he is going thru treatment that showed obvious exterior changes...so it was good to get that information from him
again thank you for wise advise..wishing you peace