Hi ebero,
Welcome to 'the club' of 'you look good, how can you be sick' club.
So many of these autoimmune conditions follow this same path, with difficulties from friends and family who do not understand. Certainly your hubby will be having the usual human reaction of, 'if I can make this NOT true, then I don't have to worry about it !" This response only works for a while then reality moves in. Perhaps taking him to the specialist / doctor appointment will help. Getting the scoop from the boss brings a measure of factual reality. [despite your frustration with others, try to be patient with them... we would love to walk away and ignore this too, if we could!]
Friends, well, that can be another story. The 'wonderful' thing [maybe the only thing good] about a long term illness is the 'clean out' effect! A diagnosis such as this brings the true friend to the top[ like sweet cream]. It can be very amazing and shocking as you experience who really is a true friend - and the ones which just fall away. But do not despair, you don't need dead weight, you need people who are concerned about you... even if they do not understand; ones who are ready to learn and to listen and to support you through this journey.
You will find Connect wonderful in having people who have 'been there, done that', and understand the upheaval that can occur in every aspect of life with a tough diagnosis. It does fall to you to often be the 'teacher' and the one who needs the patience with friends and family ! Find some good written material - the Mayo Clinic websites are great. Make sure you check all internet material for solid medically and scientifically based information!
Keep asking questions on this site, you will find great help and support from all.
I am sending you a big hug as you commence your journey, and wish you all possible best outcomes as you go forward.