This particular disability has been crushing. I am lining up all the referrals from different providers as far as physical therapy is concerned (feet/back/neck/swallowing). I push myself to walk with pain in each step. So far I’ve been having to back off certain chores.

Well, mentally I did not accept it. Then with therapy I learned to. (Over time) Granted there are times I have feelings that go against it but all and all what choice is there. Not going to give up or throw in the towel. I want to be a, the glass is half full person and not negative. That would stink!

My goal is to live with peace and happiness in my life. That includes coming to terms with disability.

I hated asking for help but am learning to be okay with it because frankly the choice is ask vs. ask. It gets attention or neglect, and some things we cannot do without.

Part of the difficulty comes from losing my identity. It is a loss.

If I’m not doing “my part” what is my role? I took pride in what I did. It was near impossible to accept. I realized I had to learn a way ask for help and learn and apply what I’ve learned.

Accepting something so difficult - changing roles, asking for help and knowing my limitations. We all have them. When diminished it is no doubt a rough ride towards acceptance.

I can say every day I feel better about it. In part, because I have a lot of love and he does not look at me in any other way but a look of compassion and love.

Faith. That it important to me, helping every step of the way.

Do what I can. Do things that are fulfilling. All within my limits. I don’t like the limits but I don’t have to. I just need to live in the moment. Because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Knowing, it could get worse. But I’m not going to devote much time there because I know where it will get me and take me.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

💜