At what age do you stop driving?

Posted by cathy58 @cathy58, Feb 19 9:46am

I am 65 and since November 2023 I have had some pretty good health issues and have had cataract surgery. My daughter who does not live with me has been driving my car so if I needed to go somewhere her or one of my grandchildren would take me. So now she doesn’t really think I should be driving anymore because now I’m on oxygen. Do I give up driving and sell my car? What would you do?

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@gloaming

A very thoughtful and ETHICAL perspective you have here. This is strictly my opinion, based on what words you have chosen.

As Dirty Harry said all those years ago, 'A wise (person) knows his/her limits' Far better to have a couple of bad days accepting that you've had to take down your credentials than to know that you've caused a funeral to happen next Saturday.

And, you are right, nemo1, it's not strictly age, but it should be based on a standardized assessment and self-knowledge.

Some communities, such as my own on Vancouver Island, have a pool of volunteer drivers to take people to appointments. In our case, it's for a drive 120 miles one way to where the best hospitals are. Sometimes the drivers are affiliated with a certain disease or disorder, such as cancer societies, kidney disease where people have to be taken for dialysis,...that kind of thing.

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i wish this transportation issue was in ALL countries. i think it would be useful for people to make this driving decision a little more easy. that way, if they can continue they should. but it would give them an option in case they can't drive on a particular day. if not feeling well. d

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@danny5

i'm sorry for the loss of your father. but i'm happy he never had an accident. luckily, with him turning off the oxygen. it did not affect him any. but that can not be said of everybody. d

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Hi danny5
Yes, he was most fortunate. The way that his behavior was discovered was while driving with my daughter in his car, he drove through a stop sign!
Wisely, she immediately checked the gage on the oxygen tank, and discovered it was not turned on. "Grampa looked real guilty."... so the game was up. With help from the physician and vigilance of the passengers, this was not repeated! We are grateful!
Thank you for your kind words.

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@thisoldewe

Hi danny5
Yes, he was most fortunate. The way that his behavior was discovered was while driving with my daughter in his car, he drove through a stop sign!
Wisely, she immediately checked the gage on the oxygen tank, and discovered it was not turned on. "Grampa looked real guilty."... so the game was up. With help from the physician and vigilance of the passengers, this was not repeated! We are grateful!
Thank you for your kind words.

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thank god for the granddaughter. ❤❤d

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I have decided to voluntarily give up driving at 83. I have signed a lease and am moving to the same town as my daughters. The complex I’m moving to is for independent living. They offer trips to the grocery store every other week and to doctor’s appointments once a week. My daughters will be very near and seem excited to include me in their lives. So I just think now is the time to get rid of all that expense and the possibility of serious injury to myself/others b/c while I’m still perfectly able to drive, I know my reflexes are not what they once were. I’ve always used public transport when I’ve travelled to the great cities overseas and also when visiting my daughters (there is a great light rail system where I will be). So now is the time to make the big change! I realize it will take some getting used to, but better now than later as I don’t seem to be getting younger🙄

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@bunnybear

I have decided to voluntarily give up driving at 83. I have signed a lease and am moving to the same town as my daughters. The complex I’m moving to is for independent living. They offer trips to the grocery store every other week and to doctor’s appointments once a week. My daughters will be very near and seem excited to include me in their lives. So I just think now is the time to get rid of all that expense and the possibility of serious injury to myself/others b/c while I’m still perfectly able to drive, I know my reflexes are not what they once were. I’ve always used public transport when I’ve travelled to the great cities overseas and also when visiting my daughters (there is a great light rail system where I will be). So now is the time to make the big change! I realize it will take some getting used to, but better now than later as I don’t seem to be getting younger🙄

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Hmmm. From what I understand none of us are getting any younger. We are just at different points on our life's journey.
Congratulations on what sounds like a good decision.
Here, in this town, "independent living" means you'll be doing all your own cooking and laundry; is that what your new location will entail?
May it go well for you.

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I'm 71 and still driving. I'm dreadng the day I can't drive anymore but I know it's a decision I'll have to make.

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@joanland

Hmmm. From what I understand none of us are getting any younger. We are just at different points on our life's journey.
Congratulations on what sounds like a good decision.
Here, in this town, "independent living" means you'll be doing all your own cooking and laundry; is that what your new location will entail?
May it go well for you.

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Yes, I’ll be doing cooking and laundry. But there is a very nice senior center that is walking distance. They have a lunch cafe where they also serve hot entree’s for supper takeout. Plus the facility where I’ll live is serviced by a company that brings hot meals on weekdays as ordered individually. Both these options cost less than what fast food joints charge for a burger meal nowadays. And the apartment has a full kitchen. I’ll be spoiled for choices! As for laundry, I’ll have a new washer and new dryer and I really prefer to do my own clothes anyway. I know I will have the challenge of joining in activities and opening up a bit to new people. But I really feel lucky to have all the supports in place. Now it’s up to me to make it a success.

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@bunnybear

Yes, I’ll be doing cooking and laundry. But there is a very nice senior center that is walking distance. They have a lunch cafe where they also serve hot entree’s for supper takeout. Plus the facility where I’ll live is serviced by a company that brings hot meals on weekdays as ordered individually. Both these options cost less than what fast food joints charge for a burger meal nowadays. And the apartment has a full kitchen. I’ll be spoiled for choices! As for laundry, I’ll have a new washer and new dryer and I really prefer to do my own clothes anyway. I know I will have the challenge of joining in activities and opening up a bit to new people. But I really feel lucky to have all the supports in place. Now it’s up to me to make it a success.

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Congratulations on having such a well-organized plan in place. How I would love to find an independent living location similar to the one you found. Our senior center is on the outskirts of town and our bus service infrequent. I have not found any independent living location here which has anything beyond eating in their very expensive restaurant for meals that you don't cook yourself. And these locations have very infrequent bus service; although once a week there is a bus provided to go to set locations. Yes, I'm in the process of looking.

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I absolutely know what you are talking about. I am moving from a large-ish city with totally inadequate services for seniors. And even in the state I’m moving too…it completely depends on the City. The Parks and Recreation Department in the medium size city I am moving to is fabulous and offers so much for seniors. Yet the neighboring large city where my third daughter lives in the same state has so little. I may start a conversation trail at some point where we can list cities with superior senior services.

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