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I'm Tired and Don't Want To Go On
Mental Health | Last Active: Mar 11 3:59pm | Replies (89)Comment receiving replies
I’m still alive.
Thank you for checking in. Getting through hour by hour.
Exercised three days in a row. That helps. Depression still unremitting. Anxiety has lessened slightly.
Still feeling hopeless but no easy way to kill myself. I guess that means I’m more afraid of the pain of dying than I am of the pain of living.
You are very kind to offer to help. That alone helps.
Be well!
Replies to "I’m still alive. Thank you for checking in. Getting through hour by hour. Exercised three days..."
I am sorry you are struggling so much. I wanted to die for several years. It was there all the time, from high school into college and there after. I have been on medication since I was 28 years old for bipolar illness and still waiting for the nest ball to drop. I still have my days but what I have created for myself is a schedule that I try to stay on. Go to bed the same time every night and get up the same time every morning. Try to get some protein for breakfast. A good nights sleep does wonders. I see my therapist via zoom once a week for talk therapy and to continue to gain skills. Try not to fight this but "rather move through it". Do you see a therapist, psychiatrist?
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Hour by hour, minute by minute. That's how we do life.
When I was deeply suicidal I would set goals for staying alive. Starting out I'd promise myself to be safe for another hour. Then, safe until tomorrow. It took me a long time to get beyond that. Eventually I could commit to staying alive until an event a few weeks away. That was a big milestone for me.
But you're right, hour by hour is a start.
Jim