Thanks for the info Julie and yes, I so agree that the psychological aspects are so often ignored... the results felt by the person and the family for years to come.
Would love to come to this conference - sounds wonderful! But I must send my best wishes instead.
For the reclusive spouse: Screening for depression would be the first step: depression would be a reasonable response to such a life altering diagnosis.
Then, if all clear, the dependency between the deaf partner and the hearing partner could creatively addressed. Often, the deaf partner can only be reclusive because of the benefit of having a hearing partner to fill in life gaps.
So the hearing partner could plan a 'vacation' or a 'family emergency,' which removes the hearing partner from the home for a while -- 3-4 weeks? or maybe just a weekend would be helpful. This would help the deaf partner to address what they need, and discover what their new life is, without the other partner [ of course leaving the right contacts for the deaf community input/care, etc. in place, as necessary].
However, such Tough Love tactics must be used with care, depending on the situation. This is not a cure-all.
The adjustments are great for all and each of the family members - some more successful than others in making the transition. If the deaf person initially refuses to go to therapy, then the other members of the family should go. There is much to be learned and understood by all the family in this brave new world!
All the best.