You are NOT alone. I feel like you and contemplate how I could end it all at times. I'm on a low dosage of Zoloft but considering titration and eventually eliminating it entirely.

Been through dozens of therapists and all seem to be no help at all.

I was diagnosed with dysthymia around 20 years old and I'm now 55.
I exercise regularly and that seems to be the only method that seems to help. But some days I'm in a funk, and just can't seem to "snap" out of it. Like today which is how I ended up here.