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Profile picture for thisismarilynb @thisismarilynb

My husband and I had a trust. I was fortunate enough to work for a probate/trust attorney for 23 years before I retired. She did it for us. When my husband died, I became sole trustee. After me, it was supposed to be one of my sons. (I have two) Unfortunately my son and I have had a serious falling out. So I found a fiduciary trustee. We had a meeting and I liked her. My attorney drew up the appropriate paper work. We discussed the issue you raised about assisted living. We are both in agreement on this. I will have caregivers in my own home. I have mentioned in previous posts about visiting two facilities who offer independent and assisted living. I was not impressed and they are expensive. So in my case, the problem is solved. You need to find a good attorney and discuss your future plans with him/her and see that the proper documentation is drawn up. You also need to research caregivers.

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Replies to "My husband and I had a trust. I was fortunate enough to work for a probate/trust..."

Fiduciary trustee is a good idea. The only thing I would question is how long that employee will be with the firm….
I’ve employed private caregivers for my Mom, so I’m familiar with companies in our area. Just more concerned with who will be overseeing the caregivers….

@thisismarilynb I wanted caregivers to assist my father to live in his home. Unfortunately we couldn't find what we needed. Big shortage of workers and the agencies could not provide the same people on a routine schedule. I did hire a friend of the family, who was a gem, and together we covered most of his needs until he needed 24/7 supervision. Even in memory care, I continued to pay the friend for companion care for my father and one of us spent time with him daily, as those facilities just do not hire enough staff and pay them well enough to stick around and provide the kind of care he needed to thrive. Many promises made at signing that were not fullfilled. You want to advocate but you don't want them to resent him. So I learned you really can't count on anything and it will all continue to change with the aging population and diminishing resources.