My husband and I had a trust. I was fortunate enough to work for a probate/trust attorney for 23 years before I retired. She did it for us. When my husband died, I became sole trustee. After me, it was supposed to be one of my sons. (I have two) Unfortunately my son and I have had a serious falling out. So I found a fiduciary trustee. We had a meeting and I liked her. My attorney drew up the appropriate paper work. We discussed the issue you raised about assisted living. We are both in agreement on this. I will have caregivers in my own home. I have mentioned in previous posts about visiting two facilities who offer independent and assisted living. I was not impressed and they are expensive. So in my case, the problem is solved. You need to find a good attorney and discuss your future plans with him/her and see that the proper documentation is drawn up. You also need to research caregivers.