@sharon35981 Hi Sharon, Your post resonated with me. . . "I grieve for my life the way it was before BC." I am almost 4 years cancer-free, and once-in-a-while, I still find myself aching a bit on the inside with those thoughts. . . though, it's not so much grieving, but a deep ache when I give my mind license to think on it. Sometimes, it has been helpful to give myself that time, ache for a bit, and then, move on. Other times, I have just told my heart, "Not now", and continue on. I think it's important to do both. In reality, our lives are never the same from day to day. . . we've lived the day we're presently in, and changes are happening all the time. I think having BC just brings that into view in a very real way. We are forced to see the changes, not glossing over them and moving on quickly to the next thing.

In that regard, in the not "glossing over", I've learned to be more perceptive - of emotions, of others, of myself, of my purpose, how I spend my time, and so on. It doesn't mean I never waste a day anymore (drat! that human nature still plagues us all), but I count my days differently, I think, than I did before. So, in that light, there have been good things that were born out of my BC, yet, there are still residuals. Sometimes just a good "sigh" is what's needed for those residuals (those things I can do nothing about). and helps me keep moving forward.

Before BC, we wonder if we'll ever get the disease. After BC, we wonder if it will come back. I'm trying to tell myself to live in the day, and refrain so much from thinking about the what-ifs. Doing so takes away from my today. God tells us in His Word, "So, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34). So very hard to do, but surely, a healthier way to live in body, mind, and spirit.

Life is such a balance. And BC interrupts that balance a lot. Finding a new balance, takes time. And you will get it. :). PS. Love the image you shared

You look like such a young beautiful woman, I hope you won’t let BC dim that light. There are many things to grieve in cancer, but there is much to be grateful for as well.
When my grandmother got the diagnosis, they said “we can try” and “ not much success” and she died. She just didn’t have the benefit of the treatments we have today. I remind myself that although chemo and AI aren’t a walk in the park, cancer comes with some real side effects too.
Dr. Susan Love once said there are two kinds of women “those who have breast cancer and those terrified of getting it”. I would add one more, those trying to live with the fear of recurrence and still trying to live. I find that talking here with others really does help.
@rhongirl really has some great thoughts on this. I love how she mentions not letting worry about tomorrow, steal today.
PS. Love the wrinkles pooch❣️

I was diagnosed at Stage 3 May 2019 and did the surgery, chemo, radiation route. I'm on Letrozole (switched from Anastrozole), but only plan on doing 5 years (oncologist onboard). I take Prolia because of Osteopenia + Letrozole. At appointment next month I plan to ask to switch from Prolia and get tentative end date to wind down maintenance(?) treatment of drugs and check-ups and what happens from there. So, I guess I'm questioning why 10 years on Anastrozole? Do you like your oncologist? In 5 years I'm on oncologist #4 (1 moved across the country). I totally respect everyone's decisions because they know there bodies best, but I do fault myself for not catching my cancer sooner. I had 2 clean mammos, but had a snarky technician who made me feel like a cow with a tag in her ear, so I didn't go back rationalizing that there was no family history. Bad move as I found out the hard way 7 years later. So I will continue annual mammograms. I admire the strength you show, but maybe encourage you to maybe reconsider on the mammogram, and decide if you're happy with your oncologist. Whatever you decide, we've got your back!

Were they concerned with your rib fracture as far as it getting into the bones? I just had a xray that showed fractures on rib 5 and 6.