We "fixers" have a hard time dealing with situations over which we have no control, don't we. For one thing we tend to have a lot of empathy for loved ones in crisis. That can be a good thing but at the same time it can cause stress.

I remember after my father died, I realized that I counted on his being there more than I thought. I was facing a problem and my first thought was to call him and ask for advice. I think that's when my grief process actually began.

In the evening, my wife and I read a book together, taking turns reading a few pages. Right now we're reading a book by Dr. John Townsend called "Hiding from Love". It's been making me look more closely at how I was raised, as well as thinking about my past and present relationships. It's been a good starting point for my sessions with my therapist. Something Dr. Townsend writes about in all of his books is boundaries. In fact that's the title of a series of his books. Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships has a very real impact on our mental well-being. That includes boundaries with ourselves and boundaries with others. Very good, thought provoking reading. I recommend it to you.

Being empathetic can be a really good thing, but it has the potential to be a problem for us, something that has affected my life significantly.

I'd write more but lunch is on the table.

I hope that today the good memories you have of your mother will bring you a time of healing grief.

Jim