My wife and I married 13 years ago. We own our home in a co-housing community.
Since we bought it 7 years ago I’ve made several modifications to make it more possible to age in place:
converted a tub to a downstairs walk in shower; enclosed a back porch with large windows on a small woods;
added full handrails to the stairs; built a sidewalk with motion sensor lights and made an emergency ramp that can be placed over stairs for wheeled access from the parking lot;
attached all rugs to the floor; grab bars in the tub, shower and by the toilet.
I’ve also built a small shop out back where I can practice part-time my trade of musical instrument building without having to drive long distances.

Since we’ve moved here my wife has been seriously ill twice, with surgeries and extended recoveries and also emotional breakdowns.
In a way this is lucky, because it gives us a chance to practice what may be, someday, a full-time necessity.
Due to several problems, our last decade of money making fell far short of our retirement plan.
Though my wife would have preferred to move to a full-care retirement community, the ones we could afford would have us in small, old apartment buildings and leaving us with little disposable income after paying the monthly minimums.

Almost as soon as we moved here my wife wanted to leave, but it would have meant a considerable financial setback, so we stayed.
One good result of her illnesses is that the neighbors in our community have been very helpful, overcoming some of her resistance to getting to know people.
She’s beginning to see some of the advantages of staying where we are.
Visiting physical therapists have spoken very positively about our home as a place to age, and I’m beginning to learn about the kind of help that may be available.

Most importantly what I see is that my wife and I need to do significant work on our relationship, working to reach a higher level of honesty and non-resentment.
We began our marriage with tender hopes, then many life issues confused things.
Having to age together offers us a possibility to relearn what loving, caring and sharing can be.
We really have a plentiful life if we can learn to share and enjoy it.

I share this here, now, waiting for her recovery before I bring up things which may bring her anxiety or maybe hope. There are things I can do better. I can understand her better.
I have hope.