Where do you want to grow old?

Good evening, I am glad you asked this question, Colleen. For some reason, I have made that decision several times and then situations changed and the decision was in front of me once more. What I dreamed of was living surrounded by nature and Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.

The first time I tackled this question, I was wrapping up my career in Hawaii. Beautiful, yes! Easy living, yes! Surrounded by nature, yes! However, my father was in a memory care center and my mother was living in a senior center fighting breast cancer. My dear daughter was trying to care for them and her two daughters when her husband committed suicide very suddenly. I could not leave her all alone and so I returned to the mainland. I found a beautiful mountain village where I could have my own art gallery and design business. Just a 4,000 population but lots of nature and room for Cavaliers plus a couple of Maine Coon kitties.

The time went by with every thought of staying. I knew I was in Paradise. Then I was evacuated three times during those horrendous California mountain fires. Multiple spine and leg surgeries had put a stop to my love of trekking around the world with my lady friends. And health care was 45 miles away unless you just needed a blood pressure check from the firemen.

It was obviously time to put on the thinking cap again. There are only a few states I have not visited or lived in.....and one was Minnesota. After meeting a gentleman who would become my life partner, (thank you, E-Harmony) I began to visit the wonderful state of Minnesota. Six years later I made the decision to sell my home, leave my "village", and take up residence where I would be surrounded by nature and the Mississippi River. Not surprisingly I fell in love with the wonderful medical care available and learned what "Minnesota Nice" was all about.

So, this time....... did I choose the best place for growing old? Time will tell.

Chris

Good evening, I am glad you asked this question, Colleen. For some reason, I have made that decision several times and then situations changed and the decision was in front of me once more. What I dreamed of was living surrounded by nature and Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.

The first time I tackled this question, I was wrapping up my career in Hawaii. Beautiful, yes! Easy living, yes! Surrounded by nature, yes! However, my father was in a memory care center and my mother was living in a senior center fighting breast cancer. My dear daughter was trying to care for them and her two daughters when her husband committed suicide very suddenly. I could not leave her all alone and so I returned to the mainland. I found a beautiful mountain village where I could have my own art gallery and design business. Just a 4,000 population but lots of nature and room for Cavaliers plus a couple of Maine Coon kitties.

The time went by with every thought of staying. I knew I was in Paradise. Then I was evacuated three times during those horrendous California mountain fires. Multiple spine and leg surgeries had put a stop to my love of trekking around the world with my lady friends. And health care was 45 miles away unless you just needed a blood pressure check from the firemen.

It was obviously time to put on the thinking cap again. There are only a few states I have not visited or lived in.....and one was Minnesota. After meeting a gentleman who would become my life partner, (thank you, E-Harmony) I began to visit the wonderful state of Minnesota. Six years later I made the decision to sell my home, leave my "village", and take up residence where I would be surrounded by nature and the Mississippi River. Not surprisingly I fell in love with the wonderful medical care available and learned what "Minnesota Nice" was all about.

So, this time....... did I choose the best place for growing old? Time will tell.

Chris

Sounds like you may have lived up the hill from us when we're in Chico we got evacuated for a couple of days during the camp fire. Now live in NC and live it. We are in the process of downsizing our home and belongings moving to a 55+ community nearby. Hope we can manage to stay there as we become older. We are in our seventies.

My wife and I married 13 years ago. We own our home in a co-housing community.
Since we bought it 7 years ago I’ve made several modifications to make it more possible to age in place:
converted a tub to a downstairs walk in shower; enclosed a back porch with large windows on a small woods;
added full handrails to the stairs; built a sidewalk with motion sensor lights and made an emergency ramp that can be placed over stairs for wheeled access from the parking lot;
attached all rugs to the floor; grab bars in the tub, shower and by the toilet.
I’ve also built a small shop out back where I can practice part-time my trade of musical instrument building without having to drive long distances.

Since we’ve moved here my wife has been seriously ill twice, with surgeries and extended recoveries and also emotional breakdowns.
In a way this is lucky, because it gives us a chance to practice what may be, someday, a full-time necessity.
Due to several problems, our last decade of money making fell far short of our retirement plan.
Though my wife would have preferred to move to a full-care retirement community, the ones we could afford would have us in small, old apartment buildings and leaving us with little disposable income after paying the monthly minimums.

Almost as soon as we moved here my wife wanted to leave, but it would have meant a considerable financial setback, so we stayed.
One good result of her illnesses is that the neighbors in our community have been very helpful, overcoming some of her resistance to getting to know people.
She’s beginning to see some of the advantages of staying where we are.
Visiting physical therapists have spoken very positively about our home as a place to age, and I’m beginning to learn about the kind of help that may be available.

Most importantly what I see is that my wife and I need to do significant work on our relationship, working to reach a higher level of honesty and non-resentment.
We began our marriage with tender hopes, then many life issues confused things.
Having to age together offers us a possibility to relearn what loving, caring and sharing can be.
We really have a plentiful life if we can learn to share and enjoy it.

I share this here, now, waiting for her recovery before I bring up things which may bring her anxiety or maybe hope. There are things I can do better. I can understand her better.
I have hope.

My wife and I married 13 years ago. We own our home in a co-housing community.
Since we bought it 7 years ago I’ve made several modifications to make it more possible to age in place:
converted a tub to a downstairs walk in shower; enclosed a back porch with large windows on a small woods;
added full handrails to the stairs; built a sidewalk with motion sensor lights and made an emergency ramp that can be placed over stairs for wheeled access from the parking lot;
attached all rugs to the floor; grab bars in the tub, shower and by the toilet.
I’ve also built a small shop out back where I can practice part-time my trade of musical instrument building without having to drive long distances.

Since we’ve moved here my wife has been seriously ill twice, with surgeries and extended recoveries and also emotional breakdowns.
In a way this is lucky, because it gives us a chance to practice what may be, someday, a full-time necessity.
Due to several problems, our last decade of money making fell far short of our retirement plan.
Though my wife would have preferred to move to a full-care retirement community, the ones we could afford would have us in small, old apartment buildings and leaving us with little disposable income after paying the monthly minimums.

Almost as soon as we moved here my wife wanted to leave, but it would have meant a considerable financial setback, so we stayed.
One good result of her illnesses is that the neighbors in our community have been very helpful, overcoming some of her resistance to getting to know people.
She’s beginning to see some of the advantages of staying where we are.
Visiting physical therapists have spoken very positively about our home as a place to age, and I’m beginning to learn about the kind of help that may be available.

Most importantly what I see is that my wife and I need to do significant work on our relationship, working to reach a higher level of honesty and non-resentment.
We began our marriage with tender hopes, then many life issues confused things.
Having to age together offers us a possibility to relearn what loving, caring and sharing can be.
We really have a plentiful life if we can learn to share and enjoy it.

I share this here, now, waiting for her recovery before I bring up things which may bring her anxiety or maybe hope. There are things I can do better. I can understand her better.
I have hope.

Artscaping? Are you an artist too?

Welcome @popcorn359. It appears that not only do we appreciate the natural world.........we also practice finding joy and happiness every day. I have read about your health conditions and you are younger than I am. I will be 82 in a couple of weeks and it seems like I have been racing down health hill way too fast in the last year or so. We live in St. Cloud. Do you head North in the summertime? I loved a trip to the Iron Range this fall....spectacular and have enjoyed exploring the Lake Superior shoreline villages and cities.

Unfortunately, I am no longer a frequent flyer with my SFN (small fiber neuropathy). So far, all the grandkids and children have enjoyed visiting MN. However, I do miss Roxie, my precious Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

Would love to have the opportunity to know more about you and if there is any way I can be your "mentor"....I am happy to help.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris