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Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Mar 17 6:30pm | Replies (762)Comment receiving replies
My husband has been diagnosed with MCI. He is in denial. And angry that this is happening. He wont go to the follow-up appt with his neurologist. He's stopped all meds and I can see he needs help. How do I help him if he won't help himself? This is all new for me and I feel lost.
Replies to "My husband has been diagnosed with MCI. He is in denial. And angry that this is..."
My husband had no idea a of his disabilities until his pcp put him through a series of simple tests in our office visit and he failed them. When I got him to neurologist, he still thought he was ok but when we started playing mental acuity games together he began to think he needed help. Pcp sent him to see speech therapist and the simple help she gave him was an eye opener to him. yes, he was angry yay the suggestions of going to get help obit at some point you just have to lead them to the “water”. At one point, my breaking down and crying because I told him I was losing him and it was breaking my heart, made him agree to go along with my requests. Good Luck and get help for yourself!!! I take very small dose (.12mg) of Xanax and capsule valerian from Gaia so I can sleep at night but not groggy in morning.
It’s really hard to help someone who refuses help but that is the nature of our humanity. The more we feel out of control the more we try to control other aspects of our life. That can mean refusing meds, etc.
What helped with my husband was explaining (every time he took them) what the meds were for, in a way that made it beneficial for him to take them. For example - “The doctor prescribed this medication/round white pill, etc because you wanted it to be easier to remember (fill in the blank - words, dates, places, appointments). This torpedo shaped pill (anti-anxiety) helps you feel more comfortable with (fill in the blank). It really helps to frame it in terms of something they understand, that doesn’t imply “they are losing it”. If they refuse just try again later, or make a note in journal, log book, calendar, etc. That meds were refused that day (so you can document an ongoing problem in hours of a solution).
@joyh1567, this must be so hard for you. I don't know how you can manage his denial, but I do know that you can get help for yourself as you navigate this new reality. You're not alone and your husband's reaction is not uncommon. Here are a few thoughts:
1. Find help for YOU locally to get guidance:
- Contact the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association https://www.alz.org/
- Schedule an appointment with your husband's neurologist just for yourself. If this isn't possible ask about getting an appointment with a social worker.
2. Keep yourself safe
When your husband is angry, keep yourself safe (and him). Would it be appropriate and safe for you to leave the room when he is angry?
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We are in (or approaching) a similar position. My husband also has been diagnosed with MCI. He would not like me taking over his meds, but he sometimes stops taking the Rivastigmine his neurologist prescribed.