@ljm047 Hello, and welcome to Connect. I know it is scary to have a spine condition. I was there too, and I am a cervical spine surgery patient.

I prefer to think about it as a choice. You can choose to have surgery that can benefit you. Sometimes these problems just find us, and we have to do our best to deal with them. My spine condition came years after an injury from a traffic accident. It took me awhile to get my head into embracing the surgery that could make me better, and in doing that, I learned how to face my fears and defeat them.

Unfortunately, when you get a recommendation for surgery from a surgeon, they don't have time to help you through the emotional part of receiving that news and it usually comes as quite a shock. I remember that feeling too, and the first time I heard this, unfortunately it was from a very pushy surgeon who triggered a lot of anxiety for me. That pushiness increased my fears, and I wonder if I would have taken that news better if it had come first from a compassionate surgeon instead. Eventually, I found that compassionate surgeon at Mayo, and when he offered me surgery, I felt validated, and emotionally, I was ready for surgery before I walked into his office.

I'm glad you and @annie1 have connected. She and I had been discussing facing fear, and you may appreciate that discussion. She asked for some of my suggestions, and you may be interested. Here is the link https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1011580/

Jennifer