I’m not Tracee, but I know that The Medical Medium has a website through which books may be purchased.
I feel for you, because like with you, my spouse chose to turn a blind eye to my pain because he felt powerless to help. As my symptoms became worse, we wound up in couples counseling because of the resentment I felt. I would be doing my best to work around the house (can’t hold a job any more) while he sat and watched me, sometimes helping if I specifically asked him to help with a particular single task, only to have him complete that one thing and then return to sitting and watching me limp around the house, struggle to carry things, even with tears in my eyes for the pain. Now he’s finally anticipating my needs and helping with some things. He still needs to be asked with some obvious tasks, but at least I finally feel heard and seen. My family was the same, with my sisters accusing me of being a hypochondriac despite medical testing and Mayo diagnosis of neuropathy, CFS, Fibro, and Reynaud’s.
But there is hope for better. Don’t be afraid to ask for everything you’d like help with, to share what you’re feeling or what the doctors say you need help with. If necessary, take your spouse to a medical visit so the doctor can explain your ability level if you feel he doesn’t believe you. Do not allow yourself to be treated poorly because you might feel like your condition has made helping you a burden or too demanding (as I did) because he has a stressful career. After all, if your child had your condition, I doubt you would tell them to tolerate being ignored by their spouse? Remind him that you didn’t ask to have chronic pain, and while it is unfortunate, and not the life you planned, you deserve respect and to be treated better.