How much do you share with acquaintances or teachers?

New waters for me, too. I am following a “need-to-know” approach for the most part. But, at the same time I am letting anyone I tell know that it’s not a secret. This is one of those topics that makes both parties uncomfortable. What I especially don’t find helpful is people wanting to instantly compare my situation to some aunt or friend and want to compare notes. That is not helpful and I don’t engage.

Hi!
I would think that unless it is going to show up in something like how you play your guitar during your lessons, then don't offer the information. I am incontinent and frankly, I don't share that with anyone except one very good friend and my husband.
Good luck with your lessons!
PML

I also tend to follow the need to know basis at this point — 3.5 years in. Most people don’t like details and are not medically savvy. You’ll learn over time who to use as a sounding board. Yes, telling the wrong people can be more hurtful than helpful. I’m often shocked by what people say or don’t say. You’re more likely to tell people at first because you’re in shock and need to talk about it. Over time you grow tired of talking about it and don’t share it with casual acquaintances. I only give updates when friends and family ask. With the exception of a couple good friends, they want a short answer. I usually just say, my cancer is stable, still on same treatment plan and next CT scans are in 2 months or whenever. Only two people want details, a medical friend and a scientist friend. My birth family all would have wanted details but they all beat me to Heaven. My son gets very quiet if I bring it up so I don’t. Good luck sorting out who to tell what.

I play the piano, have for years.! I decided that I would re-start lessons after my cancer diagnosis, during chemo/radiation. Your description on needing more time to focus/process is exactly what I found. I eventually stopped the lessons as I didn't think at that moment I was going to retain anything in the long run. For me it was a wise decision. After chemo/radiation ended and I had time to recover (months actually) I was able to return to playing piano at my previous level, and have been able to continue on my own to develop an even higher skill set. In hindsight, at least for me, engaging in any meaningful "instruction" of any topic/skill DURING such treatments may not be the most effective, IF what you are looking for is progress! If it is an enjoyable outlet and meeting and learning/improvement isn't the goal, that is a different matter. My biggest concern was that such difficulty in learning might be permanent! It was NOT, and as soon as chemo/radiation ended (with a few months of recovery) I was good as new in terms of new learning. HTH

Tell people what you want to tell them. When your ready to tell them, if they ask how your doing tell them you dont have to go into all the details if they cared enough to ask you should care enough to tell them.

When my breast cancer was diagnosed, I told everyone I knew and then some! Here’s why: I am not a leper. I have done nothing to be ashamed of. No stigma attached to this occurrence. All women have breasts and many develop breast cancer. I may need some help. I like gifts and kind words. I have discovered that quite a few women I’ve known for years have had breast cancer and now we share that important event in our lives. I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable when asking me about me or offering some help. And more.

Good topic to address! I wear fancy lymphedema sleeves and gloves (a souvenir of surgery and radiation). Practically every day someone asks about the sleeve and I use that question to encourage that person to schedule a mammogram or remind a relative to schedule. So, I guess I tell strangers I am a breast cancer survivor but I don’t share memory problems with anyone but my family. We should be comfortable with our own choices and not feel judged-we have enough to deal with.

Really depends… most people short answers. Good friends more info. I’m building a house and working with a designer- I wasn’t planning on saying anything and needed to because of slower progressing- fogginess.

Say as little or as much as you want or need to. Hang in there!

Thank you all for your answers! Each one is helpful! I had been pretty open with people I trusted, but the “they’re NOT really even, are they?” comment took my breath away.
Someone on this forum, different question, also made a good point. She said people reveal themselves in these type of social situations. She suggested it was a gift. Now there’s a cup half full view! But it is, because I can choose who I want to spend time with. And I choose kindness.