Wow, all of these responses are so emotional. Yours does stand out, so oddly similar. I contracted Covid in March 2020, however, I did not know it at the time. I am just connecting the dots with what was going on at that time.
Ironically, I feel fortunate not to have a wife and kids, I just don’t think they would understand; and that amount of stimulation sounds really difficult to deal with. I would love to have someone that stands by me through this, and I’m also grateful at the same time I’m not putting someone else through this. However, simple trips to the market are just way too stimulating, riding in an elevator with another person, or walking on the same side of the sidewalk with someone else I don’t know just freaks me out. Sometimes things are so confusing, it almost seems like people (complete strangers) are agitating me intentionally. This is not my norm, and my rational side knows better. Right now my life consists of being part of a virtual community where I hide behind an avatar, therapy sessions, and avoiding human contact at all cost. I’m not even a shell of a shell of my former self. I feel fortunate that there is still a side of me that believes the spark, the enigmatic life of the party is still inside of me somewhere. Sadly, the clock is ticking, at 52 years old sometimes things seem so bleak. I don’t wish this upon anyone, and I truly feel a sense of gratitude that I finally put together enough momentum to get myself involved in a community of people who actually do understand.