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The trouble with all psychiatric medications, especially benzodiazepines, is they do not always work as intended and do not yield to one’s willpower.
I am an extremely disciplined person. Yet when it comes to medication I never know what’s going to happen.
According to my doctors I have “profound” depression. I also get extreme anxiety that pushes my low level of suicidal ideation to an urgent need to commit suicide right now,
For years they had me on 1mg of Ativan three times a day. No more anxiety but worsening depression. Then I went to prison and they took the Ativan away. You can guess how that went.
Then I started to exercise vigorously every day and the anxiety went away but not the depression.
Then when I got out they put me back on Ativan and the depression got worse. So they stopped it again.
I stopped sleeping and both the depression and anxiety came roaring back. Now I’m on new antidepressants and .50mg of Ativan twice a day.
The depression is in full flower, anxiety hits me out of the blue and I don’t sleep.
Up next, Lunesta for sleep. We’ll see if that helps. Though I read it can make depression worse.
I know that an indica strain of THC lets me sleep soundly through the night and calms my anxiety. However, I am on parole and my State requires an act of God to get a medical marijuana card, so that’s out.
Two things that I know work both for depression and anxiety are exercise and a healthy diet. I can control those so I do. In the meantime I serve as a lab rat for the pharmaceutical companies and their enablers.
If you want off Ativan, eat healthfully and exercise. It’s how I went from 3mg a day to zero in two weeks. In my case I didn’t have a choice the prison doc just stopped it.
If exercise can work in that environment it can work anywhere.
Good luck to all of use. May we all find the peace we deserve.
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Exercise and healthy eating are good for our health but it is not the only answer to getting off Ativan. I know you were forced off due to your circumstances, but please don't lead folks that are Ativan dependent to believe that will be the only answer to getting off. I am surprised you survived the abrupt discontinuation of that high dose of Ativan. The only safe way is a very slow taper that can take a year or more. The trick and hard part is to find a doctor that knows how to taper you and is willing to do it. Too many doctors tell you to just stop, obviously they have not experienced the hell of abruptly stopping benzos. I did a cold turkey from only .05 of Ativan and thought I would die. I stopped sleeping and got severe gastric issues (benzo belly, a real thing). After 3 weeks of suffering my primary care doctor was willing to reinstate me on the drug until I got stable. She had me go up to 1.25 mg to get stable (increasing the dose was a bad idea as I just had a higher dose to taper from.) I was then able to find a psychiatrist that specialized in Benzo withdrawal. I started at 1.25 in February 2023 and will be finished with my taper in April 2024. This is a long time but the gradual taper has allowed my body to get use to not having this poison in my body. The psychiatrist also put me on a low does of Mirtazapine to help with sleep issues. I found the doctor through the Benzodiazepine Coalition. She prescribed a liquid Ativan that allowed me to easily taper with out cutting and dissolving tablets. It takes a smart doctor or pharmacist to figure out your dosing but I was lucky. Good luck to everyone that wishes to get out of benzo hell, I finally feel like I am back to my old self with out this drug.