Upset with Healthcare

Yes, planning how my appointment will be handled is as much my responsibility, as it is my doctor. I am one person on my medical team, the hub of the wheel, as it were. Having concerns/questions ready [and paper to take notes!] organizes my thoughts.

If I feel I am not getting the best care, I will respectfully talk to that doctor, and decide if a different person would be a better fit. I have done this more than once. The result is the best group of professionals for my own situation.
Ginger

Dear mirl23,
Here, here! I'm 67. I am ultra sensitive to pain. Of course no one really believed I was hurting and doctors led the chorus. The doubting chorus got very loud when my periods started. Most recently I had problems when I had TKR. On the day after surgery my surgeon tried to force my leg to bend, I started screaming, and he left the room in disgust. At least by now I'm ignoring the nay-sayers. I started remembering something my grandmother told me. She was also very pain sensitive. Whenever a friend or relative was hurt, Grandma felt their pain literally, sometimes more than they did. Her husband wasn't very pain sensitive so of course he didn't believe she was suffering when injured. More recently I found out that shortly before her death my mother confided in my sister that she had 3 broken discs in her back along with a hip replacement that left one hip noticeably higher than the other. It didn't hurt, she just felt "pressure." I think she took after her father genetically and I take after her mother. Perhaps some tendencies are affected by ones genes.

I realize that toughness in the face of pain was more highly valued in the past but I still don't accept that we all feel pain the same way. If I say it hurts it's because it hurts. The nerve connections to brain and synapse paths within brain cells vary from person to person. Some of us of hear a cruel remark and shrug it off. Others are crushed and miserable for days. We now know that changing one's brain chemistry slightly helps al lot. As more is learned about how our brains deal with various inputs and how the well trodden synapse paths can be altered I hope doctors can accept that their patients' perception of pain will not match their own and that perhaps those who don't feel pain need to be questioned more closely lest a serious symptom is missed while those whose pain seems exaggerated shouldn't be ignored.

malo (grandma's name)

I understand how you feel. My calendar is filled with appointments. Follow up’s, consultations, evaluation, radiology etc, etc…It is at the forefront of my life too. I don’t know what exactly happened that made it like this. Health issues present and they can consume especially when you need to focus on them when seeing the doctors. I have to come to accept that this is what I must do to live a longer life. Being there is no cure, managing symptoms and work to that end is what the option is. I hope you feel better. Sometimes they need to learn to have a heart and a bedside manner. These days it is more and more a business.

I had to journal about this to figure out why I had a meltdown about recent doctoring experience. I think it hits a nerve bringing back many others. My health kind of hit a wall starting in the fall of 2020. Third heart attack, CABGx3. May of this year surgery to remove hardware in my spine due to osteomyelitis. It’s taken 7 months for wound to heal. Now testing for stomach issues. Guess this is aging and my journey. Does it take any more time for any medical person to treat the patient with some respect and empathy? That in itself can ease stress with whatever the patient is dealing with.

Major life altering crisis like the ones you have undergone should elicit some empathy. It is a shame. You know what? If the doctor disrespects you, has no empathy, I would look for another. I used to be of the mind, stick to one doctor. When I did that he failed me miserably. I had him for over 10 years. It was very hard to change but I did. It took me two before I found one exceptional who is very good WITH a bedside manner AND humor! It’s out there! I just had to have the courage to take action and change. When we have faith and trust in our health care providers, it makes a world of difference. Taking the power back emboldens. In the meantime having humanity and humility would improve things. Feel better.

Thank you!

You are very welcome. Thank you for sharing.

I don't blame the doctors too much. They're hands are tied by their corporate masters. The MBAs are making a lot of the calls on what treatment paths we'll be put on. Tests and procedures recommended by your GP may or may not be approved, depending on who from the private equity group is calling the shots (no pun intended). Our health care system is a sick joke.

You have my sympathies.

I understand your outrage. Providers have become “hammers” and we are all “nails”. If our symptoms don't fit their diagnosis or treatment we are at fault. Tragically, few “health care professionals” have or take, the time to think. The result is needless suffering by millions of lost patients.

Our current for profit model of modern medicine simply exacerbates the problem. It can and needs to be, done differently.

In the meantime all we can do, is do our own research, advocate for ourselves and resist becoming the “nail” they want to hammer away on.

If I can maintain my health I am building a company that will make the research easier and writing a book about my experiences with “mental health care”. My fall from grace was very public in the State where I lived. Maybe I can leverage that notoriety/infamy into a little attention to this awful crisis.

What a terrible thing it is to be sick and have to turn to the very people who made one sick to try to get better. I want to give up an die a hundred times a day.

For today, I guess I'll keep fighting.

I wish you peace and good health.

I am sorry for your needless suffering.

Given the state of healthcare in this country I now realize it is in my hands to figure out what I need and manage my providers accordingly.

The last time I told them what I needed and they ignored me I ended up in the hospital. That apparently got their attention as they are now working with me.

I don't agree with everything they have me doing, some of which is making things worse, but at least they are listening.

It shouldn't be this way but for now it's what we've got.

I hope you live in peace and good health.