What has helped you cope with death?

Get ready to get a little uncomfortable as you listen to our latest Read. Talk. Grow. episode: "Sitting with the fear of death." Though death can be a difficult subject, we hope you find this episode uplifting. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Episode summary:

While most people avoid talking or even thinking about death, Clover, the protagonist in Mikki Brammer’s novel “The Collected Regrets of Clover,” is a death doula. She sits with people as they die, offering them conversation, company and compassion. Mikki and hospice and palliative care expert Dr. Ann Marie Chiasson join us to consider how we approach the deaths of our loved ones – and ourselves.

In this episode, Dr. Millstine and her guests discussed:

• Fear of death. Mikki had been afraid of death since she was a kid, and avoided it at all costs. But in her 30s, decided she was going to immerse herself in it, rather than avoid it. She went to talks by hospice doctors, went to “death cafes” (essentially, discussion groups about death) and learned about death doulas. She set out to write an uplifting book about death and make it more palatable for people like her.
• Dealing with regret. Regrets aren’t necessarily bad, Mikki says, as they are how we learn and grow -- and a life without regret would be a boring one. But on death beds, regrets are often simple, such as “I wish I’d work less,” “I wish I’d said I love you more.” Mikki hopes that readers consider these regrets now - when there’s a chance to do something about them.
• Facing death can be healing. In Western cultures, it’s common to avoid talking or thinking about death. But getting it out in the open – talking about last wishes, thinking ahead about how you want to be celebrated, what you want to leave for your loved ones – can often be healing.

Questions for discussion:

• What has helped you cope with death (of your loved ones or your own future death)?

Share your thoughts, questions and opinions below!