Have you dealt with shame or blame for a chronic health condition?

Chronic illness can come with seemingly endless doctor’s visits, treatment trials and insurance battles. On top of that, people with chronic conditions often experience some degree of shame or blame for their condition – from their social circles, healthcare providers or themselves. Unfortunately, the resulting emotional distress may aggravate physical symptoms.

We discuss these dynamics in our latest Read. Talk. Grow. episode: “Breaking through shame and self-blame: Hope for hives and other chronic conditions.” Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Episode summary

One of the sisters in Alexandra Tanner’s novel “Worry” experiences this distress due to chronic hives that are hard to hide, hard to treat, and come with flare-ups that are impossible to predict. Alexandra and Mayo Clinic expert Dr. Rohit Divekar help us understand what it’s like to live with this kind of condition, remove the blame and offer hope for relief.

In this episode, Dr. Millstine and her guests discussed:

• A viscous hives circle. Chronic hives, defined as hives that last at least 6 weeks, can be extremely distressing, painful and disrupt sleep. That distress can actually exacerbate the problem, Dr. Divekar says. Alex depicts these emotional and physical dynamics through one of the characters in her novel.
• An unpredictable illness. The randomness of when and how chronic hives break out can lead people to desperation — trying to find a pattern, reason, or trigger when there is none, Dr. Divekar says. This can lead to a very limited life, as people cut out an ever-increasing number of foods, places and activities in an attempt to prevent a breakout. They also tend to blame themselves.
• Offering hope and support. The situation is not hopeless, Dr. Divekar says, and it’s critical for people with hives to realize that it’s not their fault. Dr. Divekar calls it an “emotionally heavy disease” to manage.

Questions for discussion:

• If you’ve experienced chronic illness, have you dealt with shame or a sense of blame (from yourself or others)? What helped resolve these feelings?

Share your thoughts, questions and opinions below!