About

First Name
Kathi

Posts (47)

Wed, Oct 16 2:42pm · Art for Healing in Just Want to Talk

This is Kathi Fodor.
I am on Mayo’s support because we lost our daughter in early June. Please read my story so you can understand our pain. Thats my daughter and I in a very recent photo above.
In July I started painting, something Ive always loved to do. Ive been painting every day and it, to me is good therapy. Though I know friends and family nearby is much better for me ( us) but because I dont have family close by, it is quite difficult. Painting helps and I know Kirstin, my daughter is happy I am doing it.
Both my husband, Barry and I are both grieving, both of us are in pain. So hard! Some days are barely Ok; other days its so hard! Devastating loss.
In the beginning ( June).. people wrote me and it was helpful
sharing our pain. I havent heard from anyone in three months and its hard! Lonely!
We had company last week and it was quite nice…took our minds away from our horrible loss.
Painting does help but someone to talk with is very nice!

Wed, Oct 9 2:58pm · Letting Go of the Past Can be Hard in Cancer Education Center

Sorrow? It depends on what type if sorrow we experience, doesnt it? I hope I am wrong but I really feel my heart will never be happy again. Smile, maybe! Not happy! We lost our daughter, only 45 in early June. Its never going to be the same. She was my life, my sunshine, my heart!
I have bad days now but some aren’t too bad. Ive began painting and it helps. Life isnt the same and we still feel empty!
Thanks.
Kathi Fodor

Tue, Sep 10 11:07am · A mere question of loss... in Loss & Grief

Is anyone out there in the Mayo Clinic Connect that has suffered the loss of child or parent in the Bluffton, SC area. (Hilton Head)?
…………………………..
I just returned from our girls week at 8pm on June 2 and talked to my husband about what fun our daughter and I had that week. Every year I visit her for girls week. At 6:15am that very next morning our son in law called us. We immediately, in shock packed and drove to Ohio ( we live in SC). Our daughter didnt make it to the hospital. I still cant believe shes gone. We are lost, empty and feel its all surreal.
Our daughter was generally fine, however she was taking Tamoxifin which has several bad side effects, worse of which is blood clots, which is what happened.
She was taking it for a year and her doctor only saw her twice. She also had other side effects, etc. I will write more later. We need help dealing. She was our only sweet child, a teacher and LOVED by everyone. She was amazing and was involved in many charities, projects, always giving, loving, helped everyone with anything, kind, people loved her.
We cant deal with this well; cant believe shes gone. We have no family here in SC (Hilton Head area). Not many friends ( they all work, we are retired) so its tough. Her school had a beautiful tribute to her by having a concert, a parade and candle-prayer Virgil. Hundreds of cards were received by us when we came home. I miss my sweet daughter so bad. We cry every day, just sick! Please help. My friend, Terri Martin who also belongs to Mayo Clinic Connect suggested I seek help with Mayo Clinic. Terri is wonderful!
Thank you.
Our daughter just “celebrated”
(July 28) her 15th Wedding Anniversary in Heaven. Yesterday, Aug 1 was her 46th birthday. Help!

Days are bad, I feel empty but still do the necessary stuff…..cook and clean! I feel lost.
Yesterday, Sept 10 I had a horrific day. It was as if I just remembered Kirs was gone. I went crazy and cried all day. Yeah, all day. The crying gave me a headache a d I felt nothing…just missed Kirs and could not believe she was gone. I just saw her it seemed.
My husband tried to help but I still chocked up and cried.
Today is better but the horrible void is hell. She lived in Ohio ( where I am from) and we live near Hilton Head. We didnt see each other as often as we both wished. ( Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break). Talked on phone often. She was my best friend, my heart and soul. I did visit every year for 10 days; our fun long girls week.
Seems theres no help for people in our situation.

REPLY

Tue, Sep 10 10:28am · Crying for Your Health? in Loss & Grief

You may have read what happened to my family…..
Sorry, here it is again:

I just returned from our girls week at 8pm on June 2 and talked to my husband about what fun our daughter and I had that week. Every year I visit her for girls week. At 6:15am that very next morning our son in law called us. We immediately, in shock packed and drove to Ohio ( we live in SC). Our daughter didnt make it to the hospital. I still cant believe shes gone. We are lost, empty and feel its all surreal.
Our daughter was generally fine, however she was taking Tamoxifin which has several bad side effects, worse of which is blood clots, which is what happened.
She was taking it for a year and her doctor only saw her twice. She also had other side effects, etc. I will write more later. We need help dealing. She was our only sweet child, a teacher and LOVED by everyone. She was amazing and was involved in many charities, projects, always giving, loving, helped everyone with anything, kind, people loved her.
We cant deal with this well; cant believe shes gone. We have no family here in SC (Hilton Head area). Not many friends ( they all work, we are retired) so its tough. Her school had a beautiful tribute to her by having a concert, a parade and candle-prayer Virgil. Hundreds of cards were received by us when we came home. I miss my sweet daughter so bad. We cry every day, just sick! Please help. My friend, Terri Martin who also belongs to Mayo Clinic Connect suggested I seek help with Mayo Clinic. Terri is wonderful!
Thank you.
Our daughter just “celebrated”
(July 28) her 15th Wedding Anniversary in Heaven. Yesterday, Aug 1 was her 46th birthday. Help!
………………………………………………

Days are bad, I feel empty but still do the necessary stuff…..cook and clean! I feel lost.
Terrible day yesterday. We have no family around here. One or two friends. People keep to themselves around our development or so it seems. Its hard.

Yesterday, Sept 10 I had a horrific day. It was as if I just remembered Kirs was gone. I went crazy and cried all day. Yeah, all day. The crying gave me a headache a d I felt nothing…just missed Kirs and could not believe she was gone. I just saw her it seemed.
My husband tried to help but I still chocked up and cried.
Today is better but the horrible void is hell. She lived in Ohio ( where I am from) and we live near Hilton Head. We didnt see each other as often as we both wished. ( Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break). Talked on phone often. She was my best friend, my heart and soul. I did visit every year for 10 days; our fun long girls week.
Seems theres no help for people in our situation.

REPLY

Tue, Sep 10 10:16am · How to ease grief headache? in Loss & Grief

Aliali
So sad to hear about your Dad. I lost both my Mom and Dad 12 years ago. So sorry.
Im dealing horribly now with grief. We lost our daughter, suddenly June 3. I do need support and friends.
Heres what happened:
……………………………………….
I just returned from our girls week at 8pm on June 2 and talked to my husband about what fun our daughter and I had that week. Every year I visit her for girls week. At 6:15am that very next morning our son in law called us. We immediately, in shock packed and drove to Ohio ( we live in SC). Our daughter didnt make it to the hospital. I still cant believe shes gone. We are lost, empty and feel its all surreal.
Our daughter was generally fine, however she was taking Tamoxifin which has several bad side effects, worse of which is blood clots, which is what happened.
She was taking it for a year and her doctor only saw her twice. She also had other side effects, etc. I will write more later. We need help dealing. She was our only sweet child, a teacher and LOVED by everyone. She was amazing and was involved in many charities, projects, always giving, loving, helped everyone with anything, kind, people loved her.
We cant deal with this well; cant believe shes gone. We have no family here in SC (Hilton Head area). Not many friends ( they all work, we are retired) so its tough. Her school had a beautiful tribute to her by having a concert, a parade and candle-prayer Virgil. Hundreds of cards were received by us when we came home. I miss my sweet daughter so bad. We cry every day, just sick! Please help. My friend, Terri Martin who also belongs to Mayo Clinic Connect suggested I seek help with Mayo Clinic. Terri is wonderful!
Thank you.
Our daughter just “celebrated”
(July 28) her 15th Wedding Anniversary in Heaven. Yesterday, Aug 1 was her 46th birthday. Help!

Days are bad, I feel empty but still do the necessary stuff…..cook and clean! I feel lost.
Yesterday, Sept 10 I had a horrific day. It was as if I just remembered Kirs was gone. I went crazy and cried all day. Yeah, all day. The crying gave me a headache a d I felt nothing…just missed Kirs and could not believe she was gone. I just saw her it seemed.
My husband tried to help but I still chocked up and cried.
Today is better but the horrible void is hell. She lived in Ohio ( where I am from) and we live near Hilton Head. We didnt see each other as often as we both wished. ( Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break). Talked on phone often. She was my best friend, my heart and soul. I did visit every year for 10 days; our fun long girls week.
Seems theres no help for people in our situation.

Tue, Sep 10 12:25am · Recognizing my own bias or prejudice ..... in Just Want to Talk

Sorry about your girlfriends passing. Horrible!
Jake, thank you. We actually did receive many, many letters and cards telling us how much our daughter meant to them, her community, the places she volunteered at, places she helped snd gave her time, plus her hundreds of students and teachers she worked with. She left way too soon. We certainly werent ready! Parents should pass before their kids. Kirstin was a teacher who truly adored and loved her kids (students).

Tue, Sep 10 12:00am · My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old. in Loss & Grief

Hi All:
Had a really difficult day today
It is still so very hard to accept.
Today was an extremely bad day for me as if I just realized she
was gone! I need help and people to talk to. I needed it today. Its been bad enough but today for some reason it was just horrible. I woke up crying and like ‘suddenly’ realized my daughter was gone. She passed June 3. I cried almost all day til I gave myself a terrible headache. Everything today reminded me that she was gone. Everything. I broke down crying all day, husband tried to comfort me but I kept it up. Felt ill, my face hurt! I could NOT believe she was really gone. Am I going to have days like this? It was horrible. My eyes ached, I couldnt have lost her. I couldn't eat, I just cried! I still cant seem to realize shes gone! Horrible day today.
I dont hear from many people on Mayo Connect. Where do I go so people can write me so we can share stories and seek help from each other. I guess im still unsure how this works.
Thank you.
I cant sleep so thats why im writing now. Its 1:00 am.

Mon, Sep 9 11:57pm · My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old. in Loss & Grief

Thank you Merry.
It is still so very difficult. So sudden!!!
Today was an extremely bad day for me as if I just realized she
was gone! I need help and people to talk to. I needed it today. Its been bad enough but today for some reason it was just horrible. I woke up crying and like ‘suddenly’ realized my daughter was gone. She passed June 3. I cried almost all day til I gave myself a terrible headache. Everything today reminded me that she was gone. Everything. I broke down crying all day, husband tried to comfort me but I kept it up. Felt ill, my face hurt! I could NOT believe she was really gone. Am I going to have days like this? It was horrible. My eyes ached, I couldnt have lost her. I couldn't eat, I just cried! I still cant seem to realize shes gone! Horrible day today.
I dont hear from many people on Mayo Connect. Where do I go so people can write me so we can share stories and seek help from each other. I guess im still unsure how this works.
Thank you.
I cant sleep so thats why im writing now. Its12:30. gone….