Hello, Bright Wings finally back from a busted phone. Phew, that was a long time. Good news is I didn't die! Smiling
Update: it has been a rollar coaster ride for sure. Best of times and worse of times…
I had changed my password, can't remember why but I did. Then 3 of the letters I chose on the password stopped functioning cuz the screen was cracked. Then the phone died all together. 5 days in shop. Yikes, that phone was my connection to the world.
So I took charge of my life and took it in to be repaired and got a bunch of book tapes out of the library. Had lunch today with someone I met at the library.
Silly but those audio books helped me to figure out when I was spacing out so I could trace my thoughts to see what was distracting me.
So best of times since I was here last…At the Sacred Ceremony the third week of July, my intention was 2 fold. First was to ask the Sacred Plant Medicine help me establish a support base that would grow and expand as my gifts grew. It started happening right at the ceremony and continues to grow even with out my phone for so long. I am thrilled.
Second part was to ask the Sacred Plant Medicine to rewire my brain cuz I was sick and tired of each and every thought having to go thru the pinball gauntlet of my MS brain. OH, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR!
This was the worst of times. I noticed I was having trouble hitting the phone keys as if the tip of my finger was rotating in a fine circle. So many things from my brain got worse for about 24 hours and then I had huge improvement.
At one point (days and days) my anxiety was going thru the roof. Gosh, I had to open the whole storage bunker of long put away skills to deal with that much anxiety.
So currently, I have a new smile. Why? Cuz muscles in my cheeks started working again that have not worked for 40 years. At first my smile was lopsided but now the left side of my face caught up. My smile was always big now it is immense. I had not even realized they were not working until I suddenly had a whole bunch more wrinkles. Once I figured out why all the wrinkles on my right side but not my left was because my muscles were tightening up around my mouth and eyes, well I was thrilled to see them bloom when I smiled.
Another change. I have taken charge of my life! I am doing and FINISHING all those little things I was always going to get around to. This has been going on for 2 weeks. Cleaning and chucking stuff too.
Oh I am living in joy. Why? Cuz me being able to get to it and start doing all this stuff means one thing…I HAVE ENERGY! Its been years since I have been able to do this much work Consistantly, day after day. My thinking is different too.
So rewiring my brain brought me energy. I am so grateful. So humbled by all the changes the sacred plant medicine has brought to my life.
Things I am not yet in control of: sugar…the anxiety has me on a merry go round trying to keep it in control while trying to find the source.
I increased my CBD and my edibles. Still smoking although I realize funny things are happening around my smoking too. Hmmm
My eating is not normal. Its a chore to eat. Not my usual style. So I am being proactive cuz if I am hit with sudden hunger, I hit the sugar. Definately Gaining weight.
My sleep sucks at present. Had to go into the dungeon to find the tricks to restore my sleep. I am aware I am not remembering any dreams. So that could be one cause. And for some reason, I am not going to push myself to remember them. I have enough on my plate right now.
Ok well I probably have more things to say but I am tired. Hope it's not too long to post. Night all. Flying right into my bed. Bye