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Mar 16, 2019 · Who will care for us as we age? in Caregivers

Oh, how much I wish I was over my back surgery and able to take a walk like that. It would be heavenly! Bless your dad for his dedication to his wife. He must have been cut out for that, as it is hard for all folks to have the kind of patience it takes, even when they want to do it. Love enters the equation here too! : ) Thanks for sharing.

Mar 16, 2019 · Who will care for us as we age? in Caregivers

I am one of those caregivers who is taking care of a household and my husband who is 17 yrs. older than me while he suffers from dementia at age 95 now. Before this, I had the privilege of seeing my mother thru to 99 yrs. The years have flown by and now I find my own health in a scary position as I am looking at serious surgery with a fusion of L4-L5. I am weighing and discussing what is possible for me as I live so far from my daughter who has stepped up to offer care giving services to both me and my husband until the time I get back on my feet. 6 weeks to two months? That would mean a temporary move to her house which I do not want to do but she wants to keep working at her part time job at an assisted living facility. It is a 3 + hour drive one way to their home from mine. Life seems to be a series of life changing decisions and we try to come to the best solution for those involved. I have pain meds at the moment that help me get thru each day but that is not living. I feel like everything else is on hold until I get the source of the pain taken care of. I will be losing sleep until we have made that decision. Even with surgery, there are no guarantees since my spine is a mess. Meantime, I will be getting a bone density test to see if I can be a candidate for surgery. I then, will need to choose a neurosurgeon in her area, if I decide to go to her home to receive the care she offers. Nursing home insurance would have been nice if one started it at a young age and paid for it over the years but yes, it is not something we feel the need for when we are young, and , for us,waiting until we are elderly only makes it too costly and out of our reach financially. Like cmael, I would like my husband to be able to live out his life in the home we both love. Now I just need to make the right decisions for us. I am thankful for all the advice, and support I get from those here and look forward to sharing when I can. Each day is precious and taking it one day at a time works for me.

Mar 1, 2019 · I badly need your help!! Father refusing to drink water in Caregivers

Thank you, cindyt63, it is people like you and Mayo Connect that have helped me immensely. Today is a sunny day. One day at a time.

Mar 1, 2019 · I badly need your help!! Father refusing to drink water in Caregivers

I find my self coming to these pages to get my fix for the day and I am never disappointed in what the contributors, moderators, mentors, have added. Your entry today, cindyt63, felt so right as I have also been a caregiver for my mother the five years before she passed at 99, and now my husband needs me in his journey with Alzheimer's. I remember how painful it was for me when taking care of mother, when we reached the point that you mention as "the moral of the story" . Actually, it brought about a calming effect for me and relief, along with sadness at the reality of what was going to happen. I am hoping I can meet the challenge with my husband when that time comes. Tears are falling now but a dose of reality is always good. Thank you for post.

Feb 10, 2019 · Weary of Caregiving in Caregivers

Good afternoon @IndianaScott, you made me cry with these words, you have validated us caregivers again! You should go straight to Heaven and no stopping along the way, when your time comes. I am doing one day at a time here, so far, so good.

Feb 7, 2019 · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers: Dementia

You are welcome, Joey. I have been reluctant to reply to this post as I really don't know what to say, that I have not already said. My dear, you have been dealt a different hand than I was. First of all, my husband is 17 yrs. older than me. We were both retired, the children grown and most were married and living in other places, when my husband's symptoms starting showing. My husband was very active and never looked his age, and still does not. (95 yrs. full head of thick hair, the envy of our doctor!) Since we are so much older than you and your precious one, you may need advise from some who have had a similar road to travel. I also feel compassion for you and what you are going thru. I will always be following your posts and if I can help in any small way, I would love that.

Feb 7, 2019 · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers: Dementia

Scott, I am not even going to ask you how you did that but it is lovely, and an uplift to my day.

Feb 7, 2019 · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers: Dementia

You are quite welcome,@IndianaScott, and of course you may use anything from my posts now and in the future. Mother was full of sayings and bits of wisdom that can only come from a very hard life and challenges that would make a grown person cry. As an adult, when I would start a project, I stayed with it, if it took me all day and night to complete. She stayed with me on one occasion after I had my last child and she watched me and then said, " The day will come when you will be able to lie down next to your work." The day HAS come and I understand completely. You can use that one too, if you so choose as she had to have heard it at some time herself.
It is 27 here and raining and freezing on the roads. There is snow on the ground too. No school, again. Lots of those kind of days this last two weeks. (Michigan)
Thanks for the kind words for the 14th. Sending valentine wishes to you and all, who are on this site with us.