Hello @mary76 I have had recurrent tongue cancer which is a bit different and was treatable with more surgery and some radiotherapy. A fellow New Zealand patient has had good results from stereotactic radiotherapy to the lesions on her lungs and Keytruda, the immunotherapy drug. I have heard that 20% of patients with metastatic head and neck or oropharangeal cancer respond well to these immunotherapy drugs. I'm not an expert and don't know your situation it seems there are options out there.
I'm really sorry to hear this has happened to you. It is gut-wrenching, I know. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and asking questions. I found I needed counselling when the cancer came back. It helped a lot.