@unknown I hope that by this time you have been able to reach out to someone in your community. I would also strongly encourage you to tell someone that you have been experiencing these feelings. Please do not be afraid to get help; the side effects of some medications can occasionally cause these problems. BTW -You absolutely do have a great deal of courage for reaching out to Mayo Clinic Connect!
I am a therapist on an inpatient psych unit; I can assure you that often times having your doc adjust your medications sooner than later as an outpatient can solve the issue along with seeing a counselor for some talk therapy to help you get through the rough patches. If you don’t feel safe, however, and do feel like you want to hurt yourself or anyone else, go to the emergency room or call 911. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of. That is why staff like those on the Mobile Assessment Crisis teams in your area are available to help you. (If you are in crisis,MAC teams are called out to see patients and assess them in an emergency to determine whether they need to go to the hospital.)
In addition to being a professional, I have also lived with depression for most of my adult life. Take good care of yourself… Let us know how you are doing.