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May 1, 2012 · Lifelong Struggle with Depression, Feeling Lonely with It in Depression & Anxiety

Hey everyone..ive been suffering depression for about 4 years now i also have insomnia, parasomnia, ADHD, and im just overall mentally unstable. ive tried comitting suicide twice, once from ODing and once walking in front of a car at abourlt 50mph. obviously both were failures. i also think im a compulsive liar, and also have serious trust issues, which sucks in relationships as u could imagine. i cut myself about 4 times a week. i waver between anorexia and bulimia, right now im bulimic. i smoke cigarettes and i might be an alcoholic. practically nobody knows about any of this, my whole family thinks im the perfect child, and expectations have always been high, im first born. all of this is hiding behind a fake smile 24/7 which i guess isnt good for me but im so used to it, it doesnt seem to matter anymore. so thats my story. please respond (; oh yeah and im 14 years old.