First Name

Silver City


Health Interests
Autoimmune diseases, Digestive disorders, Mental health disorders


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Posts (129)

1 day ago · Crohn’s Disease - Qs about medications in Digestive Health

I have Crohn's Colitis, and I currently am only on Humira. I quit taking Mesalamine because it was just giving me diarrhea. I have never been on more than 3 medications at any one time for Crohn's, so ten sounds like a lot to me. I have had CD since 1998.

Mon, Nov 11 9:15am · Importance of focusing on Positive with Depression & Anxiety. in Depression & Anxiety

@merpreb , this hits the nail on the head for me. I am just beginning to walk away from the self-punishment that I inflicted upon myself for a long time toward acceptance of what has happened in the past, what I accept responsibility for, knowing that what is done is done. It's true for me, too, that what I had become accustomed to by living events over and by berating myself over those things was just what I knew was my world that I was bound to suffer in forever. It *is* awful, but I don't have to continue in those ways or with that type of thinking today, this moment.

Sun, Nov 10 10:35pm · Identifying and releasing negative feelings in Depression & Anxiety

@shermananski , my, I have some considerable background in ruminating myself. When I am depressed it is a go-to habit of mine that ends of with endless self-critique to the point of feeling worthless. When I catch myself doing this I try to realize that I have explored my past and that it's not going to help me in *this* moment to pursue it any further. I set it aside, and if I feel later that it is important will bring it up with my therapist. I release my thoughts that are very negative in the company of somebody I can trust to give me honest and helpful feedback or just to ask them to listen and to acknowledge my feelings as valid.

Sat, Nov 9 4:54pm · Spinning Wheels in Depression & Anxiety

@shermananski , I just went to the top of the group list and saw your topic heading of spinning wheels. I'm in a set routine right now that is working for me, but I do worry that I will become caught in a rut now and again, to that place where you feel like you just cannot do anything that changes anything for the better. I don't like that you feel trapped, either, it is physically and mentally confining and brings out our negative emotions so much more easily. Can you strike a deal with your daughter to share the car on a schedule, with you taking her to school and picking her up on some days, to give yourself a little more control over getting out and about? What would be a good routine to get into for the coming months that would help you: would that be a part-time job, going to a gym, visiting friends? What has your therapist counseled you to do, and are you following up on that advice? I've never been on Effexor, but it sounds like the lowering of dosage might even indicate that it's not the right medication (alone) to help you with your thoughts. You might add the app from The Mighty to your phone to help you get some more input on how you are doing, it's a very good site, and they just made their phone app better.

Thu, Nov 7 7:56am · On a Road to Catastrophe? in Depression & Anxiety

@merpreb , I have relaxed my expectations of myself, while always trying to do my best, though sometimes I catch myself feeling really down over perceived "failure". This has been a very healthy development for me, and it's only been in the last few years that it has come to pass in my reactions to tasks. I think that I learned this perfectionism as a result of finding that while I could do well in school I could garner praise from teachers and from my parents (if the scorn of most of my peers). I pushed myself in this way to bolster my self-esteem of a few people, and that kept me going through decades of depressive states and low self-esteem.

Thu, Nov 7 2:51am · Mental Illness medication and TBI in Depression & Anxiety

Addiction vs. dependency is a loaded question, and I am not sure if I have a clear answer to it. I see addiction as more complicated than physical dependency, wherein the user has a seeking behavior toward misuse of a substance to further a psychological need to obtain its benefit despite negative consequences. For example, somebody who uses pain relievers such as opiods to receive a high and not simply relief. You can argue that some chemicals are more likely to produce such behavior than others, while some people do not slip into addiction at all. When it comes to withdrawing from a drug, the experience to the individual who is dependent vs. who is addicted may largely be the same. Benzos tend to be a high risk drug for those with propensity toward addictive behavior and do have consequences for their discontinuation of use and difficulty to cope with that.

Wed, Nov 6 7:29pm · On a Road to Catastrophe? in Depression & Anxiety

Because I wish to have my final care executed in a particular way, I have an advance health care directive on file with my lawyer as well as taken with me every time I go under complete anesthesia. I also wear a necklace that has a number to call about my DNR orders. It's not so much a matter of worry that I will die but that I am covered, my family is covered, when executing my wishes.

Wed, Nov 6 7:30am · On a Road to Catastrophe? in Depression & Anxiety

I think that my anxiety issues are bound to two factors: I wasn't in a loving, nurturing environment while growing up and felt uncertain of everything to the point of self-generating fear; and, I am a perfectionist that gathers my self-esteem largely from the approval of others. From the first part I have a distrust of my circumstances and that others will be there to help me when I am in a place of uncertainty, while from the second I have an unhealthy and impossible imposed structure on myself that I alone can create worth through achievement where my standards are so high. I have begun to trust others' intentions on being there for me now, with some difficulty, while it is harder to change my expectations of myself and to find my own self-worth. When I believe that I am unsafe or that incapable of meeting high goals, I run to my place of a terrible outcome that is irrational but feels real to me.