About

Member has chosen to not make this information public.

Pages

Member not yet following any Pages.

Posts (5)

Nov 27, 2011 · Feeling on the bright side of darkness today despite PTSD history in Mental Health

I wish. go figure. Im a widow with ptsd, a history of bullemia, borderline personality disorder, electric shock treatment side effects of memory loss., suicidal tendencies. i was given a hernia by one of my ex boyfriends, then butchered by a surgeon who accidentaly severed a nerve he wasnt supposed to, and I have an income of 1000 dollars a month, no food stamps, no job because I have no paristalsis in my colon. and dont qualify for medicaid.

Nov 27, 2011 · Feeling on the bright side of darkness today despite PTSD history in Mental Health

So true. Im guilty of that just took my boyfriend back after he monitarily, and physically abused me. I dont know why, but I have low self esteem, and dont know too many people out here. Ive been praying for a miracle, and actually believing its going to happen. ive been praying for god to restore my self esteem, and my health, and his as well. theres a gap in our relationship, Im not sure why, but 90 percent of the time I do feel loved by him, no excuses for him though. he messed up and I called the cops and he did time for it. AM I nuts- well I can answer that with a big yes. but i dont have the will or inclination to let it all go just yet, ROUND 2.

Nov 27, 2011 · Feeling on the bright side of darkness today despite PTSD history in Mental Health

how do i deal with it? Well when im able to deal with it its almost a miracle. I cry to the point of howling. to kill the pain. I pray, I walk I reason. when Im able. I let reason rule over my mood, but it isnt easy . It hits me like an attack almost. My only salvation is the realization that the feeling will pass, and that I know im adding energy to the feeling causing me to feel worse, Then Im able to reason my way out of it by use of cliches everyone uses, like its always dark before the light, and this too shall pass. I found a scripture today. A heart that is full of carnal desires shall never love anything pure, Another one I cant quite remember it goes something like this. Knowing the cause of evil , can stop the wicked result of that evil, . … For example to know that low self esteem leads to jealousy. therefore if you want to be un jealous simply work of your self esteem. That one helped me get through a whole day of no phone calls to my boyfriend. It was still however a rough day, but I promised myself I wouldnt call him, and I didnt.

Nov 16, 2011 · Feeling on the bright side of darkness today despite PTSD history in Mental Health

Hello. I suffer with a P.T.S.D. History . I worked as a carpenter, and machine operator. I went to school for industrial electricity, but never used my knowledge accept to wire a lamp. 5 suicides in my family. Lots of mental illness. My husband and grandfather committed suicide. I’ve Been in more than a hand full of unhealthy relationships involving drugs and violence abuse and homicide. My boyfriend’s in jail. I like him better there. I’ve been hospitalized 5 times for depression, eating disorder, Suicide attempt, I’ve had electric shock treatment . I am a single parent of a 17 year old girl who wants to be a mounted cop, or work on the k9 unit. Just looking on the bright side today. Its raining and I love the rain. Today’s a good day to ride the horse. Tomorrow might not be good for me depending on my mood swings. I look forward to your blogs.